Some Days

Some days it doesn't matter what you do. Those days are just days that have the knack to sink you so low. Everything in the day will seem to gather and you will feel crushed from every side. Work will pile up and it won't matter how much you put in, some days it won't be enough. When you wake it will be raining when you wake for the fifth damn day in a row and when the sun makes its appearance you will be stuck inside. You will receive news that your esteemed leaders will smile as they kick you in the teeth. You will learn again and again that dishonesty is rewarded, that merit is dying a silent death.

And when you come home, even with the finest intentions, your will is breached. You will make poor decisions knowingly and be unwilling then unable to stop. You will be ashamed at your weakness and be ashamed for your shame.

You will feel that everything is impossible.

And then it begins to rain again, hard. Sheets of rain come swooping down and the smell of grass and dirt will rush upwards into your mouth. You will taste the fragrance of the earth and for a moment you know everything that life offers. After a moment you will return to your life but you will return with a moment of eternity captured. You will feel compelled to write and as you write you know it is enough. Everyday, even our most miserable can be salvaged in a moment.

The Rain (the weather report)

I love the rain

the smell, the sound, the swing.

But even I can get tired of rain.

It is May 16th, it is raining again

3 days, 4 nights of rain coming in spasms

Cold mornings, cold nights, miserable skies

Some days do nothing to ease my heart.

Just Because You're Paranoid, Don't Mean They're Not After You

What I have to say is simple. We are being herded (with ignorant consent) to being watched all the time.

If I asked you the following three questions, what would your answer be:

1. Should the Government be able to obtain your your personal information (who you are, where you live, contact information and internet access point) without a warrant?

2. Should they be able to obtain that information instantly, be able to intercept your conversations in real time

3. Should it be a criminal offence to be a persona online, blogging, tweeting, commenting, sharing or creating under an alias that represents a part of your personality?

If you answered no, then it's time to wake up. This is happening within the next 100 days. If we don't say anything now, then we will not only lose our country, but our individuality as well. Once we give up this freedom, what government would ever give it back?

http://tinyurl.com/3pud9mw

Balconies

Rain throughout the day one and off, mostly light, but cold and persistent. The middle of May and a high of 13C., cold wet and windy, a perfect April in the middle of May, including the greyness of the days.

But the light is lasting longer, the air is fresher, fragrant. All this rain will make for a spectacular summer of colour.

And then you look out from your balcony and see the sun setting in the distance , looking as tiny as a dime. And you wonder if the sun feels as small as you feel in the universe, if it's able to take it's smallness and at the beauty of infinity. You wonder if everything can be so charmed.

Marcel Proust Was Right

I have these deep rooted memories of rainwater and how it always reminds me of being in Florida with my parents when we were younger, especially the ET ride at Universal studios and how it smelled like rainwater inside there all the time. Going onto the balcony and smelling the perfume of freshly rained on flowers, trees, grass and earth makes me feel so incredibly safe, rooted and eternal. It is a beautiful feeling. When I took Henri out into the hallway, I was immediately reminded of hotel hallways in Florida and for a brief but timeless second I remembered cheap handheld video games, my small body as a child wrapped in a towel, dripping from a swim in a hotel pool. Like the legs of the muppet babies nanny, I could feel the presence of my father hovering somewhere in my memory. But is was the smell of my apartment hallway where I lost myself. It is almost the same smell as the corridors of those Florida hotels, warm and rainy and stuck to the walls. For that one second I remember a childhood and convince myself that my memories have indeed happened.

A Saturday Morning Run

May 14th 2011

I swear I felt heaven when I ran today, I swear it smelled heaven outside . 18C foggy, misty, lucid. It felt surreal, like I was running in a painting that would fade into eternity. The scent of flowers from streets away drifted easily on a gentle wind. The smell and scope of trees fully live along the Don Valley, a drama unto themselves. Tall, vibrant dazzling greens from the many days of rain remind me of why I run outside. Everyday I run outside, I fall in love with my city all over again, in every season, I love her over and over. Every night I fall asleep, I dream for another day when I can chase her heart again.

http://www.madetorun.com/the-human-body/made-to-run/people-are-made-to-run/

I Swear This Past Year Has Just Seemed Unreal

It might be melodramatic and unfounded hysteria inside me that I didn’t sleep last night. Just tossed and turned with an unsettled stomach that was perhaps laden with fanciful fear. I so hope to be proven wrong and find that four years from now the Conservative government has had to govern more from the centre than from the right even with the coveted majority. Perhaps having now to ensure that Ontario needs success as much as Alberta will sober any rash decision that affects 11 million people and a large electorate. Yet when I think of the new I have read of Prime Minister Harper since early 2000’s, I am not buoyed or steadied. I am fearful. Not just suspicious but fearful. This is not the kind of Rex Murphy conservatism. By the words and writings of himself and his party members this is a social conservatism as well as it is a fiscal conservatism. The social part is what tenses me. I grew up in a world and in a Canada that had overall progressed towards a socially liberal country. From time to time it would be necessary to becoming fiscally conservative but values such as sharing, peace, community and responsibility to our surroundings were guiding principles for all of us. The Harper Tory’s are admitted supporters of increased policing at a time when crime is down. They have supported the idea the a woman’s body is not hers to decide what to do with and that and that two adults are not able to decide the terms of their intimacy. Last night though what made this the hardest was learning that Canada found a party that was ethically contemptuous, that has muzzled the media and actively pursued keeping information from the public was rewarded with the privilege to govern this beautiful country and the beautiful spirit that has guided her until now. That we have done so at a time when our public and government has condemned is shameful. And that is why I did not sleep easy tonight. Yet that is why, from today forward, the 60% of people who did not give this government it’s mandate ensure that it does not rest either until it works for us as well.

Six Thoughts on the 41st Canadian Federal Election

This government and how it played out could ensure a constitutional crisis in Quebec. Can a federalist party in opposition with a leader representing Toronto defend the French language with MP’s that do not speak French? We must ensure that this vital part of our national psyche and spirit is protected

If the we keep using terms like left, centre and centre left, the next four years will be spent with us fighting while we watch the Harper Tories carve up our country. If we start calling ourselves the progressive vote we can begin a dialogue and consensus while reclaiming the word the Tories have long abandoned

The decline of the bloc only intensifies the Parti Quebecois. This should be a cause for concern for any true federalist and supporter of la langue et culture francaise inside and outside of Quebec

When the Prime Minster says (the day after being elected) that we will protect the “universal system of health insurance” take notice. Currently we have “universal health care” in Canada. Care is something you get, insurance is something you pay for

When 60% of the persons who voted do not actually dictate the government mandate but instead control it’s muzzled opposition, it should be clear regardless of political allegiance, electoral reform is a crucial tool for the survival Canadian democracy

A debate (perhaps split into English and French) within the final two weeks of the election would have served the public far more beneficially then any parliamentary report coming out soon. Even during a snap election, two face to face battles between those vying for the governance of our country is not enough to determine policy or proper opinion