Memorium for the Passing Year

tonight, i cast off my sobriety
to revel in the mysteries of the night
magic tricks in the mind of a dancer
that has long courted words

what is passing has been good,
tomorrow it will have been good
I cannot argue with has happened
it did, for it was, without any prompting
on my part, only a certain lust to keep living

there are moments where reflection is difficult to bear
there are moments where smiles place themselves upon our lips
i think of you, often, many times a day
i would keep you were you to be mine to keep

but alas we are but tiny atoms soon to be blasted
deep into the memories of a time long to come
i have read the books again dear friend, i have marveled
at the words and images long held sacred, i speak our language once more

if we are to pass this midnight without the graces
of our mutual touch, then let me kiss your lips with my fingers
let us remember the madness that chases and binds us towards
many happy returns

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (41)

1. Oilers score first and Toronto once again concedes the first goal.

2. The Oilers look feisty tonight, playing with lots of gusto.

3. The Leafs look like shells, they are getting totally outplayed by the Oilers

4. A goal from Kessel in the third ends his scoring slump. He's been M.I.A lately.

5. That being said it was a goal a too little too late as the Leafs played like garbage tonight. PLus he was one-upped by O'Sullivan who had two goals and was the better American tonight.

6. Way to play the last game of 2009 boys, here'as hoping 2010 is much kinder not just to the team but to its long suffering adn insufferable fans.

Memories of my Dreams

A few nights ago I had this dream. I was on a field trip, at my present age with Mr. Duwyn who was my 6th and 8th grade teacher. There were many other people on teh field trip and we went somewhere downtown by TTC. Mr Duwyn looked the age he was when he was teaching me at middle school (it has been almost 15 years since I saw him last).

That is all I remember of the dream. When I initially woke from the dream it was quite vivid and lucid, and I then went to the bathroom and drank some water, came back to bed and slept some more. When I woke up again, the dream was still qutie vivid though it was losing some its tone and shape in my mind. I kept promising myself I would write it down soon to capture it. I again went to the bathroom, brushed and did morning stuff, had tea and an apple and in that span of time the dream began to escape, getting thinner and thinnger until I could only remember what I wrote above.

I also felt a deep sense of longing, wistfulness and nostalgia tied to the dream. As I forgot the dream the feelings seemed to intensity in inverse proportion to the details I was letting slip away.

I came to the following thought:

I was in a state of longing, wistfulness and nostalgia for a dream that I was losing rather than the how the content of the dream provoked me to react. That deep sense of longing and trying in wretched earnestness to reclaim my memory was now superimposed upon the loss of the actual dream itself rather than the dream.

I had in effect, retro-inferred my emotions of losing the dream onto the small content of the dream I had salvaged in my memory.

Perhaps then the dream above is not at all (other than Mr.Duwyn and a field trip) any sort of truth at all. Perhaps it is just as false as my emotions and equally dependent on my own whimsy and regard for survival.

-s

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (40)

1. A rare Sunday evening game has the Leafs scoring a rare first goal by Luke Schenn, himself quite rare in the goals department. Good Start

2. And the Penguins tie up shortly thereafter. By the end of the first the Leafs are up one again on a Stempniak goal.

3. Crosby ties it up again partway through the second. Looks like a back and forth game between both teams.

4. Both teams trade goals late in the third, and both goalies are standing on their heads trying to give their teams the edge...

5. That being said, Ian White with a screaming, water bottle popping shot continues his stellar play and the Leafs close this one out nicely.

6. Great, entertaining game, back and forth with a much needed victory for the Leafs after a string of losses.

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (39)

1. When you give up the first goal (again) to start the game and to the much maligned Scott Gomez no less, a long night might be in store

2. Montreal scores another goal shortly after Gomez's Powerplay marker and the Habs are up 2-0 n the first. Yeesh.

3. The Leafs have really been taking it to the Habs since going down two. They should have at least 5 goals now but for the superb play of Halak backstopping the Habs.

4. Ian White brings them to within one and Jason Blake ties the game early in the third. Both have been playing well lately and Ian White's contract is rising day by day...

5. That being said how come this team is so lousy at playing 4 on 4? Overtime has not been kind to the Leafs and once more shows haughty disdain for the Leafs tonight.

6. Again they got another point but after outplaying the Habs for most of the night and having momentum on their side, they fall short in Overtime. Like Ian White, Halak has certainly increased his stock value of late and this game was a showpiece for him.

Weather Report (one christmas eve)

there is a light dusting of snow on the pavement
sprinkled earlier when it looked like they were tiny
stars falling to earth when heaven opened
we look forward to the promises of the morning
it is warmer tonight than it has been in some days

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (38)

1. 0-0 after the first, we are thankful for small things

2. Two quick goals midway through the second have the Isles in full control of this game.

3. After two periods the Leafs look like they are in tough for the third

4. Quick goal by Hagman to start the third chagnes the complexion of the game...

5. That being said, some secondary scoring seems to be taking an early christmas vacation of late

6. An empty netter by the Isles and this game is done. Not the strongest effort tonight and the Leafs fall back into a swoon

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (37)

1. Leafs give up another first goal in the first period. I wonder how many ways I can write this trend this season

2. Despite being down, the Leafs are playing well, showing great poise

3. 2 goals in the second have the Leafs on top, much deserved after some nice hard play

4. The fans are very vocal tonight, showering Ryan Miller with chants, good to see early week crowd that is alive...

5. That being said, is this the guy you really want to pick on when only up by 1 goal, having only scored twice on him this game? It is an incredible amount of respect that has produced this well meaning but ill thought out riding of Miller

6. Surprise! The Leafs lose to the Sabres. Miller came up big late when he needed to, shrugged off the crowd gave his team the chance to win. At least we get a point right?

Old Man, we meet again

I have seen you coming for weeks now, seen your steely gaze from afar and your shadows in the night. Today at 12:47 pm you officially arrived, antcipated by all and unwelcome by most.

Yes, today, winter is officially here. It isn't as cold today as it could be and there is still no significant (or even minor) snow around the city. Still, the arrival of winter has come upon us, those frigid nights of darkness and loneliness that beg for reflection and resolution.

It can be a wonderful season of renewal and promise and it can be a terrible season of sadness and bitterness. It is part of our National myth and a part of our collective psyche.

The only thing I am left to wonder at this moment is whether we will be blessed with white Christmas, a rainy, icy cold Christmas day or a full out assault by Mother Nature with a storm to anger and check us.

Here's a glass of egg nog hoping it is just a nice snow.

Happy Winter all.

-s

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (36)

1. The Leafs ahve not fared well against the Bruins this season so it is a small victory to end the first tied at gooseeggs.

2. Kaberle opens the scoring. The Leafs at least look like they want to put the last two games as far behind them as they can

3. Both teams are playing scrappy hockey. No love lost here on either side.

4. Stajan gets absolutely levelled. My gosh WHAT A HIT! Clean hit all the way, not much Boychuck could do and Stajan had his head down...

5. That being said look for this type of hit to be eliminated in the next couple of years as they circle the wagons on headhshots once more...shame really, after all this is a high-speed contact sport, not cricket.

6. Solid 2-0 win for the Buds, they played well enough to win and beat a team that has owned them over the last few. Most importantly however, Gustavsson turns aside all 25 shots he faced for his first NHL shutout. He is the reason the Leafs won tonight.

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (35)

1. Interesting development as the Leafs are up 1-0 after the first. This is not a team they have fared well against of late and in the last 10 years.

2. Bad start the second period, Leafs are getting pushed around by the Sabres.

3. Ryan Miller is once again donning the mask of Leaf Killer. Great goaltender.

4. Four unanswered goals by the Sabres in the second and they have a stranglehold on this game...

5. That being said, strong goaltending on one end coupled with bad goaltending on the other have benefitted the Sabres greatly tonight

6. That is 8 straight losses for the Leafs against the Sabres. That trip down the QEW seems to be treacherous for this team as far back as my highschool days. Additionally I am scared of Canada running into Ryan Miller in the Olympics. He is one of those goalies that can single-handedly win a game for a team and inspires confidence all the way across the team he is playing for.

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (34)

1. Same old story, Leafs give up another first goal. They look listless.

2. Jamal Mayers gets them to within one after the Leafs go down 2 goals early in the second.

3. What a terrible second period by the Leafs. In fact the whole game has been them chasing the Coyotes around the ice.

4. Kessel with another goal. This guy is a machine...

5. That being said, he can't do this alone and the team is absolutely dismal tonight.

6. Awful game for the Leafs but the Coyotes are playing really well this season. Maybe getting rid of Gretzky has reversed the fortunes of a franchise that was getting closer to the playoffs last year. A competent coach can do that for a team.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (33)

1. The Leafs open the scoring with a goal by Blake. He's been finding his groove lately.

2. Ottawa ties with a goal from Fisher. This guy is really making a case to be included on the National team for Vancouver. Great season by him so far.

3. And another goal by Kessel! He has really taken a shine to being the number one scorer on this team and is really thriving playing in such a pressure city like Toronto.

4. Some sloppy play by the Leafs allows the Sens to tie it up again in the early third...

5. That being said, Toskala has once again been solid and made great saves when he's needed to allowing the Leafs to get the go ahead goal not to long after Spezza tied it.

6. Four wins in a row on home ice and the Leafs have been playing some fine hockey of late. Not much to say right now except for GO LEAFS GO! (glad to to see the home crowd show up, i guess it helps to have a team you can cheer for)

some places

in the night
where we pretend that it is quiet
i will ask for everything


in the morning far away
some place, somewhere
you might remember

sometimes, the conspiracies of our sins
catch us at the moment we believed escape
possible. It is a distance of lifetimes.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (32)

1. Ovechkin with a bullet shot for the first goal early. He shows up without fail every game in Toronto.

2. Ovechkin with a slick pass and the Caps go up 2-0 early.

3. The Leafs have found their game in the second. Stajan is on a tear of late and Kessel remains red hot. The Team has been showing some great fight over the last 10 games or so.

4. And so Ovechkin goes and blows out that fire with another nice pass to set up backstrom and the Caps take back the lead. That being said...

5. Hagman ties it late third period. Stajan with another goal give them the lead in the ealry third. Then a nice pass by Stajan (what a night for him, and Saturday at home no less), pretty move by Stempniak and a Short Handed Goal! Leafs have pretty much completed the comeback here.

6. A very nice comeback win for the Good Guys. They never gave up but he most important factor was Vesa Toskala, when down 2-0 in the second made huge saves against Semin and Ovechkin and kept the Leafs in this game when it mattered. His comeback allowed the Leaf comeback to happen.

The Weather Report (one cold evening)

The winds whistle, whipping themselves across the night
Symbols furiously flutter to the left of my eye
Today, we remembered cold that bit our bones, bending
our backs, shaking our standing figures, coaxing foggy breaths
from our throats
They say that in some parts of this place it will freeze without mercy tonight
A dark night, darker still for stinging our skin in a whistle twenty below

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (31)

1. They are on Kessel early again, and so is Chara. The latter is the bigger factor.

2. Despite being down three goals at the end of two, Toskala has played very well

3. The Leafs have finally shown up here in the third period

4. Two quick goals have quickly changed the game, the Leafs are showing some guts...

5. That being said the numerous turnovers have gone in their favour so far

6. This game and the game on Saturday against Boston have shown that there is still a considerable gap between these two teams right now. What the Leafs should be hoping for is a middle of the pack finish this season so that gap does not widen next season with those infamous draft picks.

The Weather Report (one snowy day)

The snow came in wet, dusting rooftops, roads and the little grass that remains on the ground. It is however a mild day, one that soon belittles the fears of a major snowstorm by becoming a soggy mess of rain and slush by mid morning.

There are puddles everywhere, the rain is steady but not disarming. It continues through the day and stops by the mid afternoon, giving way to a shining sun and temperate temperatures for this time of year. Later, winds pick up, swirling but still nothing of what we had come to expect. This day has been more wet than wild and while that pleases many it still does little to correct the erratic and foolish manner in which the citizens of this great city govern themselves upon our roads.

It has come to our attention once more through example that this city is too hot for snow. There are too many cars, too many lights for it to sustain itself to groundfall. This city is bustling, boiling, bubbling with promise, with energy. This city defies everything we will come to know.

Later, in the late evening, the snow returns, falling with a swift grace encouraged by the wind. It has returned to show us that however great this place is, it is no match for the mouth of God.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (30)

1. Do my eyes deceive me or is Luke Schenn playing his proper defesive side? Only took about 30 games to get that right

2. Kessel continues to impress with his skill set and ability to create space and plays

3. A few weeks ago, the Toronto Star called for the vacant Leaf captaincy to be given to Ian White. The more he plays this season, the more I am inclined to agree

4. A nice 2-0 lead through two periods. Toskala has been excellent tonight so far...

5. Tavares gets two goals in the third, is first goals against a Canadian team and he does it in his hometown, sucks to be tied but good for him

6. Jason Blake comes through with a huge goal to give the lead to the Leafs and they hold on for the win. They played well enough to deserve this win and played a great game overall although some dumb penalties in the third almost led to a collapse. Two wins in a row at home for the good guys, things are looking up.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (29)

1. Toskala has been very strong early. He's bouncing back nicely from last game

2. The Leafs also look like they've come to play tonight and are also bouncing back nicely from that debacle in Boston Saturday

3. The Leafs have opened this game up very early in the second. They are the hungrier team right now

4. Wow, a five goal outburst in the second period, absolutely brilliant...

5. That being said, Alexei Ponikarovsky has really thrived on this first line and has been playing fantastic hockey of late

6. Nice shutdown job by the Leafs in the third after Atlanta got two. Overall great game, great showing by the Leafs. I still don't like Ron Wilson but he hs been doing a solid job over the last few games and I am easing off on my vitriol for the moment.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (28)

1. Very poor start for the team. Toskala doesn't look bad, but he doesn't look great

2. Really awful defense from the team, they look very tired and disinterested

3. down 4-0 through close to two periods played

4. The Boston crowd have really been giving it to Kessel, and his play indicates he is rattled by it...

5. That being said, his former centre Marc Savard is having a gem of a night. I'm sure Kessel wishes he was still being centred by such a talent

6. Leafs get some garbage goals but they were never in this one from the drop of the puck

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (27)

1. This Kessel kid continues to wow me. I am convinced that this was a brilliant trade now

2. Another 2-0 lead, great hustle and flow by the Leafs

3. Columbus looks like they want to play this second period

4. Jason Blake with a timely goal to regain the two goal cushion. Nice to see the team rally around him, he really needed this goal...

5. That being said, are there any players having as nightmare a season as Steve Mason? Poor kid, and mostly because his defense has has done him no favours this season

6. An awesome offensive outburst from the leafs, some shoddy late game defense but a good victory and two in a row. This team plays great hockey away from the city

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (26)

1. A rare first goal, away and in Montréal in front of a fired up crowd. A good start is an understatement.

2. 2-0 first period lead

3. Oh boy Gustavsson out with heart trouble...not good

4. Joey Macdonald is playing solid hockey in relief...

5. That being said after the Stajan goal he has a nice 3-0 goal cushion to work with

6. Are fans so starved for a championship, any championship in Montréal that they would give so long an ovation to the grey cup champs? Not to disparage the thrilling Alouettes victory, but it is astonishing how much the fans are begging to be saved with any championship to regain their former swagger

Thoughts from the Leaf Game (25)

1. 21/25 games with letting in the first goal.

2. Nice play by the Leafs, dictating the tempo of the game despite being down so far

3. Luke Schenn is playing much better tonight

4. Ryan Miller is playing outstanding hockey. Almost the surefire starting goaltender forthe U.S. National Team in Vancouver...

5. That being said, are you really running into a hot goaltender when you shoot pucks at the lower half of the net and no one s able to get the puck up?

6. These division & conference games are so important right now to make up ground and establish footing for the second half of the season. What seemed like an initial bright effort turned sour very quickly.