Memorium for the Passing Year

tonight, i cast off my sobriety
to revel in the mysteries of the night
magic tricks in the mind of a dancer
that has long courted words

what is passing has been good,
tomorrow it will have been good
I cannot argue with has happened
it did, for it was, without any prompting
on my part, only a certain lust to keep living

there are moments where reflection is difficult to bear
there are moments where smiles place themselves upon our lips
i think of you, often, many times a day
i would keep you were you to be mine to keep

but alas we are but tiny atoms soon to be blasted
deep into the memories of a time long to come
i have read the books again dear friend, i have marveled
at the words and images long held sacred, i speak our language once more

if we are to pass this midnight without the graces
of our mutual touch, then let me kiss your lips with my fingers
let us remember the madness that chases and binds us towards
many happy returns

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (41)

1. Oilers score first and Toronto once again concedes the first goal.

2. The Oilers look feisty tonight, playing with lots of gusto.

3. The Leafs look like shells, they are getting totally outplayed by the Oilers

4. A goal from Kessel in the third ends his scoring slump. He's been M.I.A lately.

5. That being said it was a goal a too little too late as the Leafs played like garbage tonight. PLus he was one-upped by O'Sullivan who had two goals and was the better American tonight.

6. Way to play the last game of 2009 boys, here'as hoping 2010 is much kinder not just to the team but to its long suffering adn insufferable fans.

Memories of my Dreams

A few nights ago I had this dream. I was on a field trip, at my present age with Mr. Duwyn who was my 6th and 8th grade teacher. There were many other people on teh field trip and we went somewhere downtown by TTC. Mr Duwyn looked the age he was when he was teaching me at middle school (it has been almost 15 years since I saw him last).

That is all I remember of the dream. When I initially woke from the dream it was quite vivid and lucid, and I then went to the bathroom and drank some water, came back to bed and slept some more. When I woke up again, the dream was still qutie vivid though it was losing some its tone and shape in my mind. I kept promising myself I would write it down soon to capture it. I again went to the bathroom, brushed and did morning stuff, had tea and an apple and in that span of time the dream began to escape, getting thinner and thinnger until I could only remember what I wrote above.

I also felt a deep sense of longing, wistfulness and nostalgia tied to the dream. As I forgot the dream the feelings seemed to intensity in inverse proportion to the details I was letting slip away.

I came to the following thought:

I was in a state of longing, wistfulness and nostalgia for a dream that I was losing rather than the how the content of the dream provoked me to react. That deep sense of longing and trying in wretched earnestness to reclaim my memory was now superimposed upon the loss of the actual dream itself rather than the dream.

I had in effect, retro-inferred my emotions of losing the dream onto the small content of the dream I had salvaged in my memory.

Perhaps then the dream above is not at all (other than Mr.Duwyn and a field trip) any sort of truth at all. Perhaps it is just as false as my emotions and equally dependent on my own whimsy and regard for survival.

-s

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (40)

1. A rare Sunday evening game has the Leafs scoring a rare first goal by Luke Schenn, himself quite rare in the goals department. Good Start

2. And the Penguins tie up shortly thereafter. By the end of the first the Leafs are up one again on a Stempniak goal.

3. Crosby ties it up again partway through the second. Looks like a back and forth game between both teams.

4. Both teams trade goals late in the third, and both goalies are standing on their heads trying to give their teams the edge...

5. That being said, Ian White with a screaming, water bottle popping shot continues his stellar play and the Leafs close this one out nicely.

6. Great, entertaining game, back and forth with a much needed victory for the Leafs after a string of losses.

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (39)

1. When you give up the first goal (again) to start the game and to the much maligned Scott Gomez no less, a long night might be in store

2. Montreal scores another goal shortly after Gomez's Powerplay marker and the Habs are up 2-0 n the first. Yeesh.

3. The Leafs have really been taking it to the Habs since going down two. They should have at least 5 goals now but for the superb play of Halak backstopping the Habs.

4. Ian White brings them to within one and Jason Blake ties the game early in the third. Both have been playing well lately and Ian White's contract is rising day by day...

5. That being said how come this team is so lousy at playing 4 on 4? Overtime has not been kind to the Leafs and once more shows haughty disdain for the Leafs tonight.

6. Again they got another point but after outplaying the Habs for most of the night and having momentum on their side, they fall short in Overtime. Like Ian White, Halak has certainly increased his stock value of late and this game was a showpiece for him.

Weather Report (one christmas eve)

there is a light dusting of snow on the pavement
sprinkled earlier when it looked like they were tiny
stars falling to earth when heaven opened
we look forward to the promises of the morning
it is warmer tonight than it has been in some days

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (38)

1. 0-0 after the first, we are thankful for small things

2. Two quick goals midway through the second have the Isles in full control of this game.

3. After two periods the Leafs look like they are in tough for the third

4. Quick goal by Hagman to start the third chagnes the complexion of the game...

5. That being said, some secondary scoring seems to be taking an early christmas vacation of late

6. An empty netter by the Isles and this game is done. Not the strongest effort tonight and the Leafs fall back into a swoon

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (37)

1. Leafs give up another first goal in the first period. I wonder how many ways I can write this trend this season

2. Despite being down, the Leafs are playing well, showing great poise

3. 2 goals in the second have the Leafs on top, much deserved after some nice hard play

4. The fans are very vocal tonight, showering Ryan Miller with chants, good to see early week crowd that is alive...

5. That being said, is this the guy you really want to pick on when only up by 1 goal, having only scored twice on him this game? It is an incredible amount of respect that has produced this well meaning but ill thought out riding of Miller

6. Surprise! The Leafs lose to the Sabres. Miller came up big late when he needed to, shrugged off the crowd gave his team the chance to win. At least we get a point right?

Old Man, we meet again

I have seen you coming for weeks now, seen your steely gaze from afar and your shadows in the night. Today at 12:47 pm you officially arrived, antcipated by all and unwelcome by most.

Yes, today, winter is officially here. It isn't as cold today as it could be and there is still no significant (or even minor) snow around the city. Still, the arrival of winter has come upon us, those frigid nights of darkness and loneliness that beg for reflection and resolution.

It can be a wonderful season of renewal and promise and it can be a terrible season of sadness and bitterness. It is part of our National myth and a part of our collective psyche.

The only thing I am left to wonder at this moment is whether we will be blessed with white Christmas, a rainy, icy cold Christmas day or a full out assault by Mother Nature with a storm to anger and check us.

Here's a glass of egg nog hoping it is just a nice snow.

Happy Winter all.

-s

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (36)

1. The Leafs ahve not fared well against the Bruins this season so it is a small victory to end the first tied at gooseeggs.

2. Kaberle opens the scoring. The Leafs at least look like they want to put the last two games as far behind them as they can

3. Both teams are playing scrappy hockey. No love lost here on either side.

4. Stajan gets absolutely levelled. My gosh WHAT A HIT! Clean hit all the way, not much Boychuck could do and Stajan had his head down...

5. That being said look for this type of hit to be eliminated in the next couple of years as they circle the wagons on headhshots once more...shame really, after all this is a high-speed contact sport, not cricket.

6. Solid 2-0 win for the Buds, they played well enough to win and beat a team that has owned them over the last few. Most importantly however, Gustavsson turns aside all 25 shots he faced for his first NHL shutout. He is the reason the Leafs won tonight.

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (35)

1. Interesting development as the Leafs are up 1-0 after the first. This is not a team they have fared well against of late and in the last 10 years.

2. Bad start the second period, Leafs are getting pushed around by the Sabres.

3. Ryan Miller is once again donning the mask of Leaf Killer. Great goaltender.

4. Four unanswered goals by the Sabres in the second and they have a stranglehold on this game...

5. That being said, strong goaltending on one end coupled with bad goaltending on the other have benefitted the Sabres greatly tonight

6. That is 8 straight losses for the Leafs against the Sabres. That trip down the QEW seems to be treacherous for this team as far back as my highschool days. Additionally I am scared of Canada running into Ryan Miller in the Olympics. He is one of those goalies that can single-handedly win a game for a team and inspires confidence all the way across the team he is playing for.

Thoughts From the Leaf Game (34)

1. Same old story, Leafs give up another first goal. They look listless.

2. Jamal Mayers gets them to within one after the Leafs go down 2 goals early in the second.

3. What a terrible second period by the Leafs. In fact the whole game has been them chasing the Coyotes around the ice.

4. Kessel with another goal. This guy is a machine...

5. That being said, he can't do this alone and the team is absolutely dismal tonight.

6. Awful game for the Leafs but the Coyotes are playing really well this season. Maybe getting rid of Gretzky has reversed the fortunes of a franchise that was getting closer to the playoffs last year. A competent coach can do that for a team.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (33)

1. The Leafs open the scoring with a goal by Blake. He's been finding his groove lately.

2. Ottawa ties with a goal from Fisher. This guy is really making a case to be included on the National team for Vancouver. Great season by him so far.

3. And another goal by Kessel! He has really taken a shine to being the number one scorer on this team and is really thriving playing in such a pressure city like Toronto.

4. Some sloppy play by the Leafs allows the Sens to tie it up again in the early third...

5. That being said, Toskala has once again been solid and made great saves when he's needed to allowing the Leafs to get the go ahead goal not to long after Spezza tied it.

6. Four wins in a row on home ice and the Leafs have been playing some fine hockey of late. Not much to say right now except for GO LEAFS GO! (glad to to see the home crowd show up, i guess it helps to have a team you can cheer for)

some places

in the night
where we pretend that it is quiet
i will ask for everything


in the morning far away
some place, somewhere
you might remember

sometimes, the conspiracies of our sins
catch us at the moment we believed escape
possible. It is a distance of lifetimes.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (32)

1. Ovechkin with a bullet shot for the first goal early. He shows up without fail every game in Toronto.

2. Ovechkin with a slick pass and the Caps go up 2-0 early.

3. The Leafs have found their game in the second. Stajan is on a tear of late and Kessel remains red hot. The Team has been showing some great fight over the last 10 games or so.

4. And so Ovechkin goes and blows out that fire with another nice pass to set up backstrom and the Caps take back the lead. That being said...

5. Hagman ties it late third period. Stajan with another goal give them the lead in the ealry third. Then a nice pass by Stajan (what a night for him, and Saturday at home no less), pretty move by Stempniak and a Short Handed Goal! Leafs have pretty much completed the comeback here.

6. A very nice comeback win for the Good Guys. They never gave up but he most important factor was Vesa Toskala, when down 2-0 in the second made huge saves against Semin and Ovechkin and kept the Leafs in this game when it mattered. His comeback allowed the Leaf comeback to happen.

The Weather Report (one cold evening)

The winds whistle, whipping themselves across the night
Symbols furiously flutter to the left of my eye
Today, we remembered cold that bit our bones, bending
our backs, shaking our standing figures, coaxing foggy breaths
from our throats
They say that in some parts of this place it will freeze without mercy tonight
A dark night, darker still for stinging our skin in a whistle twenty below

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (31)

1. They are on Kessel early again, and so is Chara. The latter is the bigger factor.

2. Despite being down three goals at the end of two, Toskala has played very well

3. The Leafs have finally shown up here in the third period

4. Two quick goals have quickly changed the game, the Leafs are showing some guts...

5. That being said the numerous turnovers have gone in their favour so far

6. This game and the game on Saturday against Boston have shown that there is still a considerable gap between these two teams right now. What the Leafs should be hoping for is a middle of the pack finish this season so that gap does not widen next season with those infamous draft picks.

The Weather Report (one snowy day)

The snow came in wet, dusting rooftops, roads and the little grass that remains on the ground. It is however a mild day, one that soon belittles the fears of a major snowstorm by becoming a soggy mess of rain and slush by mid morning.

There are puddles everywhere, the rain is steady but not disarming. It continues through the day and stops by the mid afternoon, giving way to a shining sun and temperate temperatures for this time of year. Later, winds pick up, swirling but still nothing of what we had come to expect. This day has been more wet than wild and while that pleases many it still does little to correct the erratic and foolish manner in which the citizens of this great city govern themselves upon our roads.

It has come to our attention once more through example that this city is too hot for snow. There are too many cars, too many lights for it to sustain itself to groundfall. This city is bustling, boiling, bubbling with promise, with energy. This city defies everything we will come to know.

Later, in the late evening, the snow returns, falling with a swift grace encouraged by the wind. It has returned to show us that however great this place is, it is no match for the mouth of God.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (30)

1. Do my eyes deceive me or is Luke Schenn playing his proper defesive side? Only took about 30 games to get that right

2. Kessel continues to impress with his skill set and ability to create space and plays

3. A few weeks ago, the Toronto Star called for the vacant Leaf captaincy to be given to Ian White. The more he plays this season, the more I am inclined to agree

4. A nice 2-0 lead through two periods. Toskala has been excellent tonight so far...

5. Tavares gets two goals in the third, is first goals against a Canadian team and he does it in his hometown, sucks to be tied but good for him

6. Jason Blake comes through with a huge goal to give the lead to the Leafs and they hold on for the win. They played well enough to deserve this win and played a great game overall although some dumb penalties in the third almost led to a collapse. Two wins in a row at home for the good guys, things are looking up.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (29)

1. Toskala has been very strong early. He's bouncing back nicely from last game

2. The Leafs also look like they've come to play tonight and are also bouncing back nicely from that debacle in Boston Saturday

3. The Leafs have opened this game up very early in the second. They are the hungrier team right now

4. Wow, a five goal outburst in the second period, absolutely brilliant...

5. That being said, Alexei Ponikarovsky has really thrived on this first line and has been playing fantastic hockey of late

6. Nice shutdown job by the Leafs in the third after Atlanta got two. Overall great game, great showing by the Leafs. I still don't like Ron Wilson but he hs been doing a solid job over the last few games and I am easing off on my vitriol for the moment.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (28)

1. Very poor start for the team. Toskala doesn't look bad, but he doesn't look great

2. Really awful defense from the team, they look very tired and disinterested

3. down 4-0 through close to two periods played

4. The Boston crowd have really been giving it to Kessel, and his play indicates he is rattled by it...

5. That being said, his former centre Marc Savard is having a gem of a night. I'm sure Kessel wishes he was still being centred by such a talent

6. Leafs get some garbage goals but they were never in this one from the drop of the puck

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (27)

1. This Kessel kid continues to wow me. I am convinced that this was a brilliant trade now

2. Another 2-0 lead, great hustle and flow by the Leafs

3. Columbus looks like they want to play this second period

4. Jason Blake with a timely goal to regain the two goal cushion. Nice to see the team rally around him, he really needed this goal...

5. That being said, are there any players having as nightmare a season as Steve Mason? Poor kid, and mostly because his defense has has done him no favours this season

6. An awesome offensive outburst from the leafs, some shoddy late game defense but a good victory and two in a row. This team plays great hockey away from the city

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (26)

1. A rare first goal, away and in Montréal in front of a fired up crowd. A good start is an understatement.

2. 2-0 first period lead

3. Oh boy Gustavsson out with heart trouble...not good

4. Joey Macdonald is playing solid hockey in relief...

5. That being said after the Stajan goal he has a nice 3-0 goal cushion to work with

6. Are fans so starved for a championship, any championship in Montréal that they would give so long an ovation to the grey cup champs? Not to disparage the thrilling Alouettes victory, but it is astonishing how much the fans are begging to be saved with any championship to regain their former swagger

Thoughts from the Leaf Game (25)

1. 21/25 games with letting in the first goal.

2. Nice play by the Leafs, dictating the tempo of the game despite being down so far

3. Luke Schenn is playing much better tonight

4. Ryan Miller is playing outstanding hockey. Almost the surefire starting goaltender forthe U.S. National Team in Vancouver...

5. That being said, are you really running into a hot goaltender when you shoot pucks at the lower half of the net and no one s able to get the puck up?

6. These division & conference games are so important right now to make up ground and establish footing for the second half of the season. What seemed like an initial bright effort turned sour very quickly.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (24)

1. Wow bad goal let inby Gustavsson

2. Poor defence but still another bad goal by Gustavsson

3. Wow this Kessel kid is good

4. This Hagman kid ain't bad either...

5. That being said, both these guys carried the team tonight

6. You need wins like that to build character and confidence. A reward to the team for not quitting and a reward for all the fans who didn't quit watching.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (23)

1. Two quick goals to start for the good guys

2. Two quick goals to tie for the other guys

3. Get another lead and squander it

4. Gustavsson has looked shkay the last few games he has played...

5. That being said, does this team just not want to play defense for a full game?

6. Another much needed win, season grand total: 5...it is a testament to fidelity and idiocy to be a lifelong supporter of this team.

The Weather Report (one foggy evening)

Traffic lights shine out from behind traces of clouds, all around the the streets the clouds come down to the ground. There is a chill in the air common to these late moments of November. The road bends in front of us, but being familiar can be navigated through this creeping fog.

If you look to the right, over the bridge, you will notice that the city has disappeared, vanished, poof, gone.

Everything that stood is gone. The city has gone.
Tomorrow it will return
when this lifts, but it will not be the same. It will look the same, often feel the same, but someone this night, under the cover of these clouds has come and replaced the city and left a false one behind.

We look over our left shoulders and in the park there are magic yellow lights that lead to a forest full of of our imagination. As we walk away from home, it disappears behind us.

It’s eerie she says

I’m inclined to agree. There is no fear however tonight, just mystery and adventure.

We turn back, the way is familiar once more. Everything reverses. A green machine cuts a crescent through the night somewhere inside the city that can no longer be seen.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (22)

1. Poor Vesa Toskala. That man just cannot catch a break.

2. How is Dwayne Rolosson 40 and still playing so well? Incredible

3. Leafs are playing with some urgency

4. Nice comback being three down and coming back to tie, excellent work...

5. That being said how do you manage to fire that many shots on net and only get three goals. At least we get a point right?

6. This is just the same story as before, the Leafs sure can shoot the puck, just can’t score enough. It's been five years of the same.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (21)

1. Giving up the first goal to Ovechkin mitigates the damage of giving up yet another first goal...slightly

2. Good response by the Leafs, they are playing hard, playing like they have something to lose

3. Toskala is playing well again. Good for him, he needs to string together some strong starts.

4. Both teams are trading chances, the pace is pretty entertaining...

5. That being said, Ovechkin still looks off pace and I think he might be playing slightly hurt still

6. A much needed victory if only to temper the growing chorus of pitchfork wielding townspeople

FOR THE LOVE OF WORDS!!!

Just a few days ago, amidst much fanfare and drooling, it was announced that the Kindle was coming to Canada. Immediately I raised my left and smacked myself on the forehead muttering a tiny bullshit into the mix. I had hoped that we would only be able to get pirated versions of the Kindle into Canada, not for any anarchist middle finger to corporation reasons, but for the saving of books.

I love books. My mom was the first to instill the love of reading in me. As a kid I demanded books be read to me. When I would begin to fall asleep my mom would pull the old trick of skipping pages and I would suddenly wake up and make her go back to the missed sections, so much had I memorized each and every Seussian sentence. That love has sustained and followed me through my life. I took books everywhere. I always had a book with me. Mostly I was always bored, a person with a roving mind that could only be quieted by the pondering and fussing over books and stories. I took books into classes, hiding them under my desks and stealing sentences while teachers were instructing, sticking them in back pockets and reading while outside sucking down a cigarette at the butt hut. I would even take them into mosque and read throughout prayers and religious ceremonies deriving much more spiritual satisfaction from stephen king and J.D. Salinger than from praying to a God I wasn't sure I believed in (or rather one that might believe in me). Books for me were everything, solace, pleasure, escape, fancy. A good night for me included knocking down some chapters in a story and marvelling over how some authors got tone and setting just right and letting myself get swept away in stories and ideas.

I still take books everywhere. I still always have a book with me.

Now I find myself mistrustfully confronting an age where print is dying at an alarming rate. We have grown into a world of instant gratification, fingertip controlled world where we demand things right away. It is a nano world, clamorous for information the second it becomes available. We live in a world that feels like it's getting smaller, we try to de-clutter, downsize and "edit" our own lives down to sparse details that make it relevant. How much longer then can books survive in this climate that seems hostile to the book itself? The book now takes up space, it is another thing to add to a pile, another ting to throw out or get rid of, a weight. It isn't the story that is dying, it is the medium, the presentation of the story that is changing. I admit it is with regret and no small sense irony that I type this. My message here is being broadcast on virtual paper with virtual words. Though if I had the choice it would be written and packaged with a cover, something you could pick up and leaf though and not need an internet connection to access. Something more in partnership with the concept of leisure.

Books to me are personal. I dog ear pages. I've dropped many books, mussed up many dust jackets, torn some pages and had books fall apart and clumsily taped them back together. I've highlighted some books, and underlined many others, jotted noted in sections. Even writing my name on the inside cover to convey ownership. I've made them mine no matter how I got them, once they were mine I made sure they stayed that way. I gave them my touch, my little mark of saying I read this and this is what I felt while doing it.

There are also the other nuances of books, the typeface chosen by the author, the picture of the author at the back, the cover design, the counting of pages to the next break, chapter or section. The smell of a new book, the feel of a new book, the feel of a book once loved, the oldness of the pages and the feeling that someone has been there before, the sound of flipping pages and the crinkle of the page as you turn it in anticipation eagerly seeking the next word. For me holding onto a book is a weight worth keeping.

Books can also be a conversation starters. I once got into a conversation about Marcel Proust with an elderly gentleman for six subway stops when he saw me reading the first book of Proust's "In Search of Lost Time." Seeing someone read a book in the open is a entrance into what that person is feeling, and brings back memories of what you might have felt when reading the same thing.

You can't do this on a machine. The is nowhere to dog ear a page. You can highlight but it makes it such a static response. It becomes dull and grey, full of pixels. Books don't run out of batteries and don't need you to adjust screen settings. You can lend a book to a friend but lending a machine to a friend seems downright silly. I would rather turn a pages then scroll up and down. Putting your hands over the pages in a book in oddly sensual but over an E-reader? It's just dirty, you have fingerprints you now need to clean up so you can see the screen and text clearly again. Books can be twirled, tossed and treated with more ease than a machine. Do that with an e-reader and you might have just royally fucked up your investment.

You could counter this and say that you can hold hundreds of texts on one device saving the burden of carrying and lugging all those texts around. I would argue that makes it more of a compendium to a book collection rather than something to replace it. Of the things in my one bedroom apartment I value most, I choose my bookshelf. It has been lovingly arranged in sections and by authors. It isn't because I want to show how many books I've read, it shows me however what I have read, what I value in literature and words. It serves as a personal time machine, I look at the shelves and see where my imagination has been taken, how my ideas have been formed though time. Its a visual representation of my love and learning, it shows how I've grown as a person, what genres and authors I've read and kept with me. I go back to those books many times over, re-reading them, looking at them and seeing how my thoughts on the books and their ideas themselves have evolved, changed and grown with the passing of time. As I continue to read the shelf cannot hope to contain all I purchase and keep, so books start being stacked. It looks messier just as my ideas and psyche push my mental boundaries of neatness and chaos. Books begin migrating to different places in the apartment wherever an inch of space can hold them. I fail to see this as a burden, I see it as a joy, an absolute, wonderful joy that allows me to express the love of literature I continue to cultivate and nurture and harvest. An E-Reader would be handy say if I was on a sabbatical or sojourn where I could not take the physical weight of all these books with me, but it would never replace the feeling of coming home and slowly choosing just the right book by looking at it on a shelf, in its place amongst others, handling it, find a spot to sit or lie down and opening it, cracking the spine a little and sinking into it without the feel of plastic or sound of whirring machinery peeling away form the experience. The emotional weight of the books, the journey through them, the journey of receiving them, far outweighs the physical burden of weight a books might have.


I realize it is inevitable that we will move to a paperless world. Our environment dictates that this will come to pass and it might be a better planetary solution. In the case of news it is an essential step forward. While I miss sitting with a newspaper and taking my time to go through the paper, in a constantly updating world where information is rapidly changing an E-reader is a good thing. I refresh news sites all the time because the information is constantly being updated and a simple morning paper becomes an anachronistic idea an hour after you've finished reading it.

Books don't change however. Once they are published (unless they are translations that need updating) they are what they are. They are rooted to their moment. There is no instant update for books. They are the whispers we seek in the dark.

More and more we type, we submit online, though the access of books is far more manageable than the internet. Books can be clandestine, can succeed where access has been blocked or threatened. Books can be passed, through secret hands far better than electronically monitored sources. They are hidden treasures that within contain hidden treasure of our hidden treasures. They are the messages we seek and send out.

The one thing I will miss the most if this truly does come to pass, is the sheer happiness I get from finding and discovering used bookstores like Seekers on Spadina and Bloor or the BMV at Yonge & Eglinton. Little gems or big ones anywhere in the world. Even if I never purchase anything there, but to go and spend time looking through collections, leafing through pages, finding just the right book. Finding a quirky shop or quirky owner, having impromptu discussions with them about books or hearing their thoughts on what you are buying. Spending time gazing and marveling at all the words and the freedom they project in a large store or seeing hundreds upon hundreds of books crammed into a small shop, wiping the dust off and examining the book. Finding something you've always wanted to read or something you read a long time ago and want to make part of your collection once more. The small things about book hunting that make it a pleasure to keep doing it over and over.

Maybe that's what it comes down to, I'm a collector of books, I am a collector of words. No machine can replace that. Machines break, they fizzle and sputter and require updating, collections do not require updating, only additions and I plant my flag on this land and invite you to join me on my island, where we can exchange words and books until our eyes close.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (20)

1. Not one, not two, but three first period goals!!! Where did this Leaf team come from?

2. Carolina looks like they're storming back...

3. Blowing three goal leads and two goal leads is inexcusable

4. No matter the result, the shootout is an awful way to end a hockey game...

5. That being said, FIRE THIS COACH already. They just aren't listening

6. New slogan for the team --> The Toronto Maple Leafs - Where Goalies Come to Die.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (19)

1. Toskala played a pretty solid game, again another game that was not his fault.

2. Phil Kessel is giving his all, it's a shame he has barely anyone to play with

3. What the hell has happened to Luke Schenn? Sophomore slump or big city pressure finally cracking the armour?

4. Mike Fisher is a bonafide Leaf killer...a centre that can play a two way game...

5. That being said, without a bonafide centre on this team, it reinforces how valuable Mats Sundin was to this team. Point per game player, at up 20-25 mins of ice time, a leader...you lose someone like that, it takes quote some time to recover

6. It is a source of pride and consternation that Leaf fans in the Ottawa region are louder than Leaf fans in Toronto. Its fun to hear but incredibly disheartening when you hear (or rather hear nothing from) Leaf fans at home

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (18)

1. Another game, another first goal allowed. While it isn't his joke, Jim Hughson nearly made me pee when he said it was a news item from the Department of Redundancy Department. Him and Ron Mclean should totally write a tv series for the CBC.

2. This really isn't the Goalies' faults. This defence stinks.

3. Phil Kessel is doing all he can to keep the Leafs hovering at below mediocre

4. I like that Kaberle is taking a more hands on approach, being vocal and showing some leadership...

5. That being said, does not having an identifiable captain on and off the ice lead to less accountability for the team and the players?

6. If I didn't have to go to a concert on Saturday night, this would have felt like another Saturday night wasted. I remember looking forward to Saturday nights not so long ago, and planning my nights around hockey...kinda sucks to be a Leaf fans these days (and has for some time) though right now it feels worse.

National

Em and I recently went up to the Northern Bruce Peninsula to celebrate our two year wedding anniversary. We secluded ourselves in a cottage for a week with supplies and trepidation in between Tobermory and Lion's Head Ontario.

If you would pardon the hyperbole (for none is intended), the time we spent there was transcendent, something very moving and altering. Sparked by the quiet of what surrounded us, we were able to hear ourselves and to feel our own rhythms move in time through the great open spaces we met at each corner. Having just the two us together in one place reinforced the beauty of our decision to be with each other for a time as long as always.



Perhaps the most powerful of the whole trip was when we visited to of our National parks in the Region - Bruce National Park and Fathoms Five National Park. In each of those places we dug our spirits into the terrain and sucked into our lungs the air, so little corrupted by commotive human sprawl. We walked among 1000 year old cedars, teetered and stumbled across kilometres of rock. We sat on cliffs of escarpment, lined with paintbursh autumn colours to see coastlines of water slapshing, pushing waving and slapping away at rocks as it has done for thousands of years. These movements of water have created caves, nooks, juts and jags across vast stretches of land, a constant washing and taking of sediment back and forth.



We ate lunch one whipping windy day on a bedline of rocks, hearing nothing but water crashing in a dance with the whistling wind while the pnly other sounds we heard were two bald headed eagles flying overhead.

We once again walked new sections of the Bruce Trail, that has a startpoint/endpoint in Tobermory and lends itself to a distance greater than 800 KM finishing just near Niagara Falls. The Bruce Trail is an absolute wonder of not only this province, but this country, an unspoiled man made volunteer sustained trail, sustaining the idea that in concert human beings are the most important and worthy caretakers of this planet. The Bruce Trail is a direct proof that if people care deeply about their surroundings they will do small, little things that when looked upon in sum total are unparalled in their unselfish motive.

Walking through the Bruce trail and through the National Parks, I came to realize how important the National Park program is to me even though these were the first two National Parks I had been to. As Canadians we are charged with the upkeep and sustenance of a wide swath of varied land and climate. This should never be seen as a burden, rather it is a task we should all be proud to bear. To protect such natural beauty as best we can is an honour. The most awe striking places on this planet exist within this country, they are ours to hold and grow. Inside these places is the soft chatter of evolution, each of us trying to find our place in this world. From the mud grows the lungs of the world, hundreds and thousands of years old, like us stretching timelessly upwards, dependent on its surroundings and those who might chance to pass by for kindness and acknowledgment. It is a warming thing and sometimes an infuriating thing when we realize how much damage we do daily to our planet and our country, how we still do not stand up for our right and our responsibilities towards this land that has so far kept us in good faith and good stead.

It is my sincere hope that we never settle, that we fight, we sweat and set forth with clenched muscles and teeth to a future where the we sustain the Earth as much as it sustains us, that we breathe in harmony with our places anywhere and everywhere on this planet. I hope that one day we dig as deep as we wish our roots to be spread, to insist that our environment be a prominent part of our social contract and continuing National conversation.

If you have ever felt what I felt those days, if you had ever seen what i had seen those days, then you would not think me mad, you would think the world itself mad for its suicide.


peacelovefreedomjustice
-s

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (17)

1. Why not just start every game 1-0 for the opposition? Saves a commerical break at least
2. For the leading scorer amongst defencemen, Tomas Kaberle sure forgets how to play defence sometimes
3. Nice Two Goals by Kessel, way to get us back into the game...
4. That being said, Toskala was the real reason we were even in this game into the third
5. Exciting last 10 minutes...where was this effort for the previous two and a half periods?
6. Chicago is a team Leaf fan hope theirs turns into one day soon...
   

Bibliophilia 2009

n the interest of keeping up this record of my reading, here is what I am currently reading and this list from now will be further broken down by month so I can scrutinize even further my reading habits.

Same chart symbols as last time, although addition of R to denote currently reading, F-[month] to denote month finshed.

January

1. The Athlete's Way - Christopher Bergland (F-Jan) [started in December]
2. The Beautiful and Damned - F. Scott Fitzgerald (F-Jan)
3. Proust Was a Neuroscientist - Jonah Lehrer (F-Jan)

February

1. Son of A Smaller Hero - Mordecai Richler (F-Feb)
2. The Winter of Our Discontent - John Steinbeck (F-Feb)
3. How Soccer Explains the World - An Unlikely Theory of Globalization - Franklin Foer (F-Feb)
4. Fifth Business - Robertson Davies (F-Feb)

March

1. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood (F-Mar)
2. The Tin Flute (English Translation) - Gabrielle Roy (F-Mar)
3. Memories of My Melancholy Whores (English Translation) - Gabriel Garcia Marquez(F-Mar)
4. The Watchmen - Alan Moore (GN) * (F-Mar)
5. The 12 Stages of Healing - Donald M. Epstein (F-Apr)

April

1. Tale of the Body Thief - Anne Rice (F-Apr)
2. Memnoch the Devil - Anne Rice (F-Apr)
3. Farenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury (F-May 1st)

May

1. White Noise - Don Delillo (F-May)
2. Sandman Vol.1 Preludes & Nocturnes (GN) - Neil Gaiman (F-May)*
3. Sandman Vol.2 The Doll's House (GN) - Neil Gaiman (F-May)*
4. Sandman Vol.3 Dream Country (GN) - Neil Gaiman (F-May)*
5. Sandman Vol.4 Season of Mists (GN) - Neil Gaiman (F-May)*
6. Dubliners (SS) - James Joyce (F-May)
7. Sandman Vol.5 A Game of You (GN) - Neil Gaiman (F-May)*
8. Sandman Vol.6 Season of Mists (GN) - Neil Gaiman (F-May)*
9. Crime and Punishment (English Translation) - Fyodor Dostoevsky (F-May)
10. The Unbearable Lightness of Being (English Translation) - Milan Kundera (F-May)

June

1. Sandman Vol.7 Brief Lives - Neil Gaiman (GN) (F-June) *
2. St. Urbain's Horseman - Mordecai Richler - (F-June)
3. The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand (F-June)

July

1. The Portable Jung - Carl Jung (edited by Joseph Campbell) (F-September)

August

1. ChiRunning - Danny Dreyer ( F-September)
2. Sandman Vol.8 World's End - Neil Gaiman (GN) (F-August)*
3. The Billion Dollar Game: Behind the Scenes of the Greatest Day In American Sport - Super Bowl Sunday - Allen St. John (F-September)

September

1. Jacon Two-Two and the Hooded Fang - Mordecai Richler (F-September)*
2. Neuromancer - William Gibson (F-September)
3. The Killing Joke - Alan Moore (F-September) (GN)
4. Arkham Asylum - A Serious House on Serious Earth - Grant Morrison(F-September) (GN)

October

1. Dead Souls - Nikolai Gogol (F-November)

November

1. Two Treasties on Government - John Locke (F-November)
   
2. Dreaming Your Real Self - Joan Mazza (F-November)
   

December

1. Of Human Bondage - W. Somerset Maugham (F-December)
   
2. Sandman Vol. 9 The Kindly Ones - Neil Gaiman (GN) * (F-December)
   
3. Sandman Vol. 10 The Wake - Neil Gaiman (GN)* (F-December)
   

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

"This is a completed transmission log from the Freecity"

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (16)

1. Do this team like playing from behind? Another game scored on first

2. After two big wins, back down to Earth we come

3. Is this what happens when you name a starting goaltender in this city?

4. That being said, Gustavsson's defence totally left him out to dry last night

5. Matt Stajan's tenure in Toronto is looking shorter and shorter

6. Where is the pride in singing the National Anthem in this city? Especially for a Rememberance Day game? Even I sing it at home and there are many reasons I should not even care, but I do and am saddened that more people in this city do not...

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (15)

1. Scored first and at home! Is the ship turning?

2. Gustavsson is incredible in goal. He is the single reason the Leafs are turning it around now

3. Kessel finally has the monkey off his back and did it quickly in his Leaf career. Way to stay a step ahead of the curmudegeons in our lot

4. The Leafs look confident, are exciting to watch and look more comfortable playing with each other...that being said

5. After railing on the coaching in the early on and even with a great goalie backstopping the team to success, the coaching has to be applauded for getting the team to stay focused during a very rough start to the season

6. For the first time in a long time a Leaf crowd that showed some emotion. The bandwagon has officially opened its doors

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (14)

1. Another game, another first goal given up

2. Gustavsson looks shaky early on...

3. Great response staying in the game, keeping focused and not giving up,

4. That being said...a goalie that doesn’t give up is of the foremost importance and the key to giving your team the confidence to play themselves back into the game

5. This has still been a very sloppy game

6. A win and in regulation! Something is up with this team...confidence has suddenly started to re-appear.

Another 5th of November has come upon us and i take this time to reflect for a small moment upon the eternal message of the day, namely that government mischief is what bequeaths mischievousness in its people.
When we see a government abandon its duties of governance,
when a government forsakes modesty for pomp and celebration of itself,
when a government induces fear rather than eases it,
when a government begins to censor selectively rather than discourse freely,
when a government wishes to murder intelligence and thought in the names of freedom and profitability,
it is then that we must ask ourselves the following: why have we allowed this?, what will we do to stop this? and when will allow ourselves the liberty of our own discretion and afford others their liberty of theirs?

so then
remember remember the 5th of November
Gunpowder treason and plot
I see no reason gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot!

peavelovefreedomjustice
-s

"this is a repeating message from the still free city"

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (13)

1. Wow this goalie looks good.

2. So does theirs

3. That hit on Kessel almost induced a mass Leaf Nation suicide...

4. That being said he made everyone around him look better last night while taking 18 TOTAL SHOTS! (no goals however, welcome to Toronto.)

5. Two key players, make this team far more exciting to watch

6. It is an indictment on the NHL and their ludicrous post lockout point system that the leafs have a point in all the games they have lost. In competition somtimes there are ties no matter how well one team performs above another. I do not care if it helps the Leafs currently, this point system is a travesty on the nature of competition and what it should take to earn a single point in this league. Simply by tying a game at the end of a sixty minute frame is no reason for an award and this team and many others are very lucky in this “modern era” to be gain in the standings by losing games in overtime procedures.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (12)

1. Scored First!

2. The Powerplay is coming along quite nicely. Nice to see it in action

3. See what happens when fans get cocky? Nananana,Heyheyhey thanks for getting us back in the game...

4. That being said, a win would have been the sweetest justice for that instead of the night ending the teasing manner it did

5. Two shootout goals, glove side. All year long glove side. All last season glove side. Anyone seeing a pattern here?

6. Without a consistent, reliable hard skating centreman, can Phil Kessel really be the saviour? Most likely a defining moment for Matt Stajan in a Leafs sweater

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (11)

1. Still can’t buy the first goal

2. Another three goals let in by the Monster

3. That being said, he looks fantastic and most of those goals are not groaners

4. These nights at least they are coming to play

5. When taking costly penalties game after game, night after night, isn’t coaching a part of the problem?

6. After 11 years, I miss Nik Antropov. There was a time I never thought I would say that.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (10)

1. They continue their streak of allowing the first goal

2. Sometimes lucky breaks get you back in, you need a few of those pucks to go in

3. The benched players seem to have gotten the message for now

4. Gustavsson has let in in his three games 10 goals for a not so respectable 3.3 GAA...

5. That being said the Leafs play like a far more confident bunch in front of this goaltender, and he has made some spectacular saves in key moments

6. Someone needs to remind the team that there can still be some hockey played after 60 mins. (They look better though don’t they - sound better too from where I’ve been lately)

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (9)

1. Finally
2. If he wasn’t the annointed one before, Mr Gustavsson took a monster step towards that direction last night
3. Once again, scored on first...
4. That being said, that is how you respond
5. If they had lost while gaining 11 powerplays who knows the amount of lost sleep Leafs Nation would have experienced
6. A hat trick for Hagman, 5 points for Kaberle but most importantly a win. Let’s see if they can bring collective confidence back to Toronto one day soon.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (8)

1. They still can’t score first
2. Or second
3. If you need a moral victory this early in the season...
4. That being said there is something to be said for at least showing up to fight
5. The perfect coach to have right now, to teach young kids and work from the bottom up is Paul Maurice. Shame really.
6. On a dark cool wet October evening, listening to the game on a radio, in a cottage with a fire , somewhere in Ontario, there is a soft and familiar charm that is just as important to remember as any Saturday night in the city.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (7)

1. Who's under more pressure, the team, the coach, or the gm? answer: none, it's the upper echelon of management that should be rattled right now. Their gravy train is going right off the tracks.

2. Is it worse Here or Montréal? the age old debate se continuer je spose. But at least Montréal

3. Whenever Don is right he really likes to tell people about it and shove it home. So where is the clip from 2 weeks ago where he said Joey Macdonald would be a star if he was put it?

4. To continue from above, he is right about Schenn. Why is he playing on that side all the time? After 7 games shouldn't the coach change that or is he deliberately trying to see Schenn fail?

5. How long until the ACC is only half filled? 2 more losses? 3 tops and if is happens on national television...

6. How long until the the debate for and against national Leaf games on the EnglishNationalMouth appears in print?

turns out most of my thoughts led to more questions...such are our Leafs this year.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (6)

1. This looks like a team playing to get their coach fired. There doesn't seem to be any explanation for that

2. No goalie is going to save this team, especially with a defence that has more holes than a bawdy house.

3. If they cared about playing here, maybe then some players would attempt to block shots. With that said, there is no excuse for highly paid professional athletes to not block shots and play with some semblance of heart and pride.

4. This team would have been a Stanley Cup contender if it was assembled pre 2004 lockout. And then only with Mats Sundin leading the way.

5. The bandwagon has already written off the season, good to see that they are in full force early in the season.

6. A kid is in divorce court and the judge asks him to choose which parent to live with. The child, with some fright looks at both his parents and then smiles looks at the judge and says "neither." The judged, perplexed asks the child to explain, whereupon the child says I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs, they can't beat anybody!" Yeah it might be time to bring that old joke back. A part of me is sad, the other part just can't help laughing and laughing. If you're a leafs fan, that just might be the only thing to do.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (5)

1. An embarrassment on so many levels and at this point shouldn't some of that embarrassment be put on the coach? Has a coach ever lost his team 5 games into the season? Ron Wilson's seat is starting to heat up.

2. Time for a new goalie experiment! At this point, a pylon is an upgrade. I still feel bad for Toskala though, a shame through and through.

3. Forget urgency, where is the pride on this team? Don't you want to play at least to show people you aren't doormats?

4. When Sean Avery is scoring goals that make him look like an all-star, your defensive experiment has failed

5. You cannot use the "goalie is injured ploy" in order to play another goalie and give the other guy some time to think about his commitment level two years in a row. That being said, we should not be falling for this two years in a row, Toskala just might be done if needs the same excuse 2 years running.

6. Dreading watching Leaf games for a diehard like me is uncharted waters. This feels very weird yet oddly empowering. Thank God I still love hockey itself, or I might be starting the trumpets to open the 7 seals.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (4)

1. This defence really sucks, it takes the crown right out of the game. Even Kaberle looks normal. Maybe he's getting tired of being the only semi-luminescent thing on this team.

2. How can Toskala really stop any pucks playing behind a terrible defence like that? Most of the goals aren't his fault, they are the result of a lazy, slow, outclassed and out muscled team in front of him.

3. Why is that any time there is something worth criticizing and calling out, then only person ith any guts to do so is Don? Good call grapes on the ridiculous need to have an ice level replay colour man and good on ya for mentioning TSN by name. That between the benches tabloid style of game presentation is awful way to present hockey.

4. All those fights look staged and the leafs should be embarrassed to be poorly that all they can do to catch their breaths is send some goon out there to rough up some people. That is not hockey and more importantly that is not good hockey fight. You want fighting in the game fine, but have some class when doing so.

5. That last sentence believe it or not can be achieved, and it comes about by actually being able to play some hockey first and proving that a fight might help you somewhere down the road.

6. At this point Ron Wilson doesn't seem to have control of this team, they play some awful undisciplined hockey. People should really stop showing up if this continues much longer and perhaps this city will show some resolve and support this product from their living rooms and radios until they merit physical presence at the game.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (3)

1. Is this really how Brian Burke envisioned the start of the season going?
2. The Leafs sure seem determined to be as undisciplined as possible in the early season
3. The Toronto media has made it their collective task to make every issue surrounding this team as nanoscopic as possible.
4. The internet makes the achieving the above statement as easy as possible
5. Matt Stajan, 3 goals in 3 games...see what anyone can do with 22 minutes of ice time, but he is working very hard and is a pleasant surprise (about the only one) so far.
6. For a battle of Ontario, that was as limp a crowd I've ever seen. They barely booed Alfredsson, and were as quiet as a graveyard. This is partly because the Leafs are a thoroughly un-exciting team to watch right now and partly because the ACC is one of the grandest graveyards every built to watch hockey in.

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (2)

1. The Leafs are really really good at playing one period of hockey
2. Vesa Toskala just might be done, not just with the Leafs but as a legitimate starting goaltender in the NHL
3. Even though he let in 3 goals, the Monster looked as sharp as he could behind a lazy defence
5. Two games in, Beauchemin and Komisarek have not been worth the press or respect their salaries command
6. In a city like Toronto, two games in is a lifetime
7. Alexander Ovechkin is a joy to watch

Thoughts From The Leaf Game (1)

These are the things I learned from the Leafs game last night

1. The ACC crowd has to be coaxed into singing National Anthem, way to go Toronto
2. Leafs v. Habs is still a great Rivalry
3. When Matt Stajan is your first line centre, expect greatness only by virtue of insanity
4. That being said, currently Matt Stajan is tied with Alexander Ovechkin for the league lead in goals
5. The Leafs still can't score
6. Don Cherry is still the best mistake CBC ever made, he is the gift that keeps giving
7. it is still a sadistic experiment in self-loathing to be a leafs fan yet it is strangely enticing

Classic

ot unexpected but still quite sudden is how the temperature outside has quickly dropped. The sun seems to quite fond these days of sleeping in and receding earlier, and each day starts cold and turns colder. Long sleeve shirts have been dusted off, sweaters are being hung in closets, hoodies are becoming staples and soon enough the weather will warrant toques and scarves for their original rather than fashionable properties.

It's October,, autumn is in full swing and with each passing day we huddle ourselves towards another Canadian winter.

As depressing and tiring as this is, it does bring with something grand and wonderful, the start of the hockey season. This is the best time to be a sports fan, Hockey begins, the NFL is well underway, basketball is around the corner and the weather outside makes it easier to find excuses to stay in, have a drink and warm yourself with the company of someone special.

What better way to usher in this oh so Canadian time of year than with the oh so Canadian classic of Leafs vs. Habs. Nothing finer. Nothing finer.

The one sport that defines our country and the one match up that has defined generations of Canadians kicks off the season tonight. There is nothing like watching a new season live up to the weighty ghosts of our hockey pasts and thinking that maybe, just maybe this team might be worthy of carying our pride and burden in this beautiful city.

For better or worse we throw our lot in with the leafs year in and year out, through the many disappointments and some might say few joys, we maintain our fidelity against our better judgement but we do this with our hearts not minds. There is no other way nor would I have it any other way. To be a Leaf fan is to be a in a place that borders mad and beautiful.

So to all us good luck, godspeed and Go Leafs Go! Raise a glass, spark a smoke, put on a toque and sit back and let our fall classic sweep you into long dark nights of winter. Hear the skates cut the ice, the roar of the crowd, the clatter of the posts, the crack of a stick and know that it is in this dark time of the year when we as Canadians renew ourselves.

For those of our kin overseas, it's Hockey Night in Canada, we know that no matter where you find yourself on this planet, you're with us more than ever at this time of year.


I leave you with this...
the good ol' hockey game is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name is the goold ol' hockey game
-Stompin Tom Connors

peacelovefreedomjustice
-s

"this has been a bursting message of love from the freecity."

Conversion, Software Version 7.0

first off, happy belated birthday nick..hope your japanimated life is going well and that your shortened trip still went strong...

secondly folks, I caved...

well more leaped sans blindfold, gleefully and without umbrella onto the mac Express

just got a macbook pro...what a beautiful machine...this is how computing should work if you aren't some hacker but a just an ornery computer user...soooo awesome

that being said, this segues into my other, long-standing and almost resolved emotions regarding my windows pc...

i fucking hate you pc. you suck. you stall. you piss on my happiness. you stall. you reboot without even the courtesy of warning me. you fry your own motherboard just to hear her scream. you decide that the windows i've been using for 2.5 years is no longer a genuine copy. you stall. you have trouble getting up in the morning or really at any point during the day and no combination of rest, doctoring and cleaning satisfies you. your idea of peak level operation is being on for 6 hours before crashing. you stall. you make me want to smoke cigarettes and then perhaps share cigarettes with you so you too can feel what's it's like to die slowly. you make me hate yelling and cursing. you stall. you are happy when i'm miserable and just when i think i can quit you, you come act nice for a few days or a week then inevitably you stall. you seem to have a knack for contracting various ITD's (internetally transmitted diseases) which of course force you to stall. I give you the best protection money can buy only to have you take it off right before you...well you get it...then you stall. I agree some of those diseases are my fault. I've take you to some pretty seedy places and left you alone there at the mercy of cyberspace dregs. You know i am sorry for this. I have a problem. I need to download. Mostly TV and music but still. That doesn't mean you should punish me, we were supposed to be a team, going through life together, your powercord wrapped between my fingers, happily skipping our way across the matrix in search of information and data.

But no you had to shatter that dream quite early on. i hate you. that's not to say i won't ever say hello to you again, i will. But now i am going to use you like you used me. all bets are off. Those seedy places we used to go to? i just sold your ass to them. I don't even care what you come back with. I will clean you once more, last time soon enough and then you're on your own navigating the personal (computernal?) hell i have designed for you. I will have you working harder than a jarvis street hooker on the first of the month. I have a new girlfriend now, she's much better and shinier, much more fun to play with, talk to and caress. After only 3 days, i'm ready to marry her. Will I abuse her, no doubt, but for now, she takes and asks for more, something you never could quite get used to. So fare thee well madame pc, i'm a mac user now, a convert and disciple. Rot in dust PC.

and on that note i also did something i never thought i would do, which is download the new Pearl Jam album without paying for it. I had to. I wasn't paying a store for this one nor the band. Now why wouldn't I pay the band considering I have bought stuff from them before? Simple they want me to get a tenclub membership before i can purchase the album from their website.

Well piss off. I'm not paying $20 to get news i can get on the internet and some christmas single, then paying 13.99US for an album. I just saw you in concert a month ago. I have bought all the other albums (except the 200 authorized bootlegs you released a few moons back) before. We're even. If I can buy the album from you directly I will, no hesitation Since I can't, I won't, and that loyal readers is that.

peacelovefreedomjustice

p.s. waljee thanks for the blog update, now please be consistent. Good talking/chatting with you on the weekend.

Diversionary Tactics

but often it happens you know
that the things you don’t trust are the ones you need most
so it's cautiously into the dark
but you see before long that your eyes will adjust
and under the night you can hear
the full moon rise like a psalm in the air
and the air goes into your lungs
and around in your heart and on through your blood
it goes cautiously into the dark
and you see before long that we all have a part
and under your skin you can feel
that the fear that you feel is what will set you free

and under the night you can hear
the full moon rise like a psalm in the air
and the air goes into your lungs
-Hey Rosetta

I'm getting old...i mean 27 isn't that old but older and after seeing how swiftly this summer passed by and how 2009 seems to be speeding along at impossible speeds, some days I feel it more. In October it will be 2 years since Em and I got married and this please and shocks me, I can't decide which it does more. All of a sudden feelings, fears and prayers intensify, things seem to take on more meaning and as we approach the last 3 odd months of the year we being to reflect on the year that is passing and perhaps passing far quicker than we would wish at this point or any point.

In the midst of that we often begin to reflect on things of importance to us. When we think critically and personally we come to the conclusion that the things that matter most are the things we can only be measure by the units in our hearts. Intangibles. The very things you cannot physically take to a desert island, but the things that will sustain you on that island when hope and resolve seem to abandon you. As time speeds itself forward, we cling to these more and more as we feel that perhaps we may not have them for as long as we thought, as often as wished and in any way we chose.

We value the felicity of our kin and those we extend our kinship to, the loyalty of our bonds and the friendships that sustain them. We value the love of our families and the joy of nurturing relationships we hope will grow far into the future that we see in the distance. As we get older and transition into various aspects of our individual lives, the collective ties we have established makes us smile deep into the nights that leave us cold. We may not see one another for weeks, months and even years but what we have given and taken from each other makes those moments special enough and easy enough that we can pick up where we last left our sentences.

So in the interest of whatever it is we all have for this moment, thanks and my way of saying thanks is as always to a) rant b) divert you into the caverns of the internet, perhaps put a smile on your face, perhaps get a thinking cap to light up. So here are some links i found interesting plus two blog posts from your truly that didn't get mailed out for some reason or other.

When any of us reach days that are difficult to endure, I hope that our friendship and any friendship we all have serves as even a minor light through any moment we feel let alone in the dark.

Cheers to Friends

-s

peavelovefreedomjustice

"this is has been a sad sappy tale from the freecity."

OH AND WALJEEs & NICK, PLEASE EITHER BLOG OR SEND OVER YOUR MAILING ADDRESSES PLEASE...WE NEED TO PROVE THAT PRINT IS NOT DEAD AND THE ART OF HANDWRITING THOUGHT IS NOT YET DEAD!!!! and waljee dammit, blog for christ sakes...you're slacking again.

http://legenies.multiply.com/journal/item/60/Uniformity_part_2

http://legenies.multiply.com/journal/item/56/defending_the_indenfesible...then_one_for_nick

http://www.theworldofisaac.com/2009/08/10-people-smarter-than-bronson-arroyo.html

http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2009/08/id-say-this-went-well/ - and it happened on GLOBAL TV!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3-3mqcJ3uo&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fsportsillustrated%2Ecnn%2Ecom%2F2009%2Fextramustard%2Fhotclicks%2F08%2F14%2Fgina%2Dcarano%2Dplayboy%2Dadrian%2Dbeltre%2Dinjury%2Dmichael%2Dvick%2Dreturns&feature=player_embedded#t=54 - banned iphone commercial

http://www.astrosurf.com/legault/atlantis_hst_transit.html - beholding the sun

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8211209.stm - Because since they are already working on the invisibility cloak this is the next logical step...is there anything Harry Potter CAN'T DO?

http://www.thespec.com/article/621664 - my poor wife...her people are dying and she sticks a knife in their back by marrying me...but i still believe my kids are going to look like trolls with flaming red hair that sticks up and brown skin...my genetic ego would die after that

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/01/chicks-being-ground-up-al_n_273652.html - NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART...but after one of my posts and continued defense of Michael Vick, only fair I link to something reputable that shows how are food is eventually brought to us...does this mean i won't eat meat? umm no....if i was an animal i'd probably be even crueler but does it no behoove us to demand more of what we consume and pay for?

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/bastard/2009/08/tempe_pastor_steven_anderson_p.php - because americans are so dumb and because this pastor probably watches organized pro sports which is far more communist in nature than Obama...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32659678/ns/world_news-asiapacific/?gt1=43001 - to show that not only americans are stupid...i predict that this leads to another recession in Japan...in fact doesn't everything in Japan lead to a recession in Japan? Nick welcome to your new country...

http://www.tofugu.com/2009/07/25/10-crazy-things-about-japan/ - more crazy stuff for nick

and to end off http://imgur.com/qoBI9.jpg - when fruit breaks the 7th and 10th commandments

http://imgur.com/ORogZ.jpg - fireball takes on a whole new meaning

Uniformity pt.2

Here is the second part...I begin with a rhetorical and then self-answered question...

is there any more hypocritical an entity as a Professional Sports League??? Discounting the Mass Media and Government (whose sole purpose it seems is to deceive through chicanery), I don't believe so.

The big 4 in North America (NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA) are as adept as the media and government at such extremes of hypocrisy that it gets astounding from time to time. Sometimes you think you have it figured out then all of a sudden something new happens to restrict freedom and all of a sudden you pull back and are like "Really? that really fucking happened? WOW!"

As I have bemoaned many many times, we live within a laissez-faire system of capitalism in the West. Our businesses and interactions are largely governed by the overall capitalist apparatus and whether we agree or not I believe that we should expect the overall machine to adapt itself towards the capitalist model.

Sports however feels different it seems. Here is where the large hypocrisy looms overhead. I put forth that aside from the MLB, the NFL, NBA and NHL are in fact not capitalist enterprises but rather communist entities centred around a dictatorship style of governance.

How is this possible? These are billion dollar profit machines with the uber rich the super ultra rich using them as playgrounds and toys for their amusement. How do individual capitalists become then singular communist entities?

Simple.

Salary Cap.

Surprisingly players unions in these leagues, themselves in general the results of socialist/communist movements against the bourgeoisie control of labour, are staunch opponents of Salary Caps. However the leagues insist that caps are necessary in order to let "small" market teams compete with "large" market teams...

Restricting competition in favour of those who cannot or have not? A dead Lenin snickers somewhere in the dust.

It is argued that the state must impose rules, often very stringent rules regarding the dress of their players and behaviours of their employees to ensure that the "image" of the respective leagues is upheld...

Mandatory dress codes, curbing of speech and restricting "unsavoury" behaviour? A dead Trotsky grins in the dust

There are numerous examples of leagues acting in communist fashion in order maximize capitalist profits. The NFL is the greatest of these transgressors. For a league that so wholly identifies itself with America and her ideals, to be so blatantly StalinRed is laughable and slightly frightening. They have in the NFL something called blackouts. It works like this. Let's say the Buffalo Bills cannot sell X number of seats before a certain cut-off date for a specific home game. To encourage fans being gouged at the stadium, the NFL will then blackout the home game in the home market radius (Canada not included) so that the only people who see are those in attendance at the game and to encourage fans to buy more tickets so people at home can eventually watch a game on tv. Even if you have DirectTV, blackout games cannot be watched.

Score one for censorship!

All leagues have dress codes and hell many small businesses have them as well. Cool. Its when the codes becomes so cumbersome that it begins to bother me. A few years ago David Stern, comish of the NBA decided that all players had to dress at minimum business casual when not playing and at the games with their team. This in large part prevents players from dressing like black people. What they should be worried about is not the image on the court-side for injured players, but what players do in the public spotlight as that is where NBA brand image is tarnished the most.

The NFL only allows players to wear specific clothing on the field. It must be from their sponsors...No New Balance shoes, Reebok and Nike only. Appallingly draconian, but no better way to whip the slaves then by restricting their freedom in the name of the greater good of brand image.

Lastly, since this is Canada, the NHL deems that certain markets are untouchable. While they deny this publicly, is there any doubt that blocking Balsille's bid for the Coyotes is anything but protecting the Southern Ontario market for the Leafs? So the NHL controls who can be an owner (this may become nullified in a few short weeks) and when Balsille publicly stated he wanted to buy and move the penguins in 2006, the NHL gave him 45 page contract saying that he could not move the team. So he pulled out.

But they don't have that right. Al Davis beat the NFL at a similar game in the 70's over relocation. A business owner has the right to move his business if he/she sees fit. To ensure maximum profitability, a tenet of capitalist society, individual charged with the operating of the business, most usually the owner since it is their money being primarily being invested in the enterprise, has the right to do as they see fit with their establishment. If they want to charge $12 for beer, so be it, if people pay for it than that is what will happen. If they want to serve shit sandwiches with a cup of pee and a side of zit puss, they can do so. THey would be crack crazy if they did that but it is their business to ruin or make a success.

See that last comment, while vile, does something that the NHL is trying so very hard to ignore for the time being and what the phoenix area ignores entirely. The one absolute cardinal rule of capitalism is that the marketplace determines everything. If people want to eat poo and drink pee, their will be a price on it and a marketplace will emerge to serve that interest. The marketplace for hockey in the great senior citizen and college state of Arizona has long been exhausted. In fact moving to Phoenix I cannot even fathom that a marketplace ever really existed outside of illusion and fantasy. Moving the team to Phoenix from Winnipeg is colossally stupid move (hindsight be damned any one who ever wore an extra layer of clothing in the early fall can discern this) akin to ordering beer in Mecca. It has been amply determined that the marketplace for hockey is as follows: Canadian, cold weather cities that have seen white christmases, large cities where discretionary spending can be spent on hockey (think L.A. not cold but lots of money and people you are eventually able to convince 12,000 people to show up). A team in SWOnt is not just logical but would increase league revenues, attendance, create rivalries and so on and so forth.

and there i went and ranted again. oops!

so to end I leave you all with a link, http://chriscooley47.blogspot.com/2009/08/dont-get-fined.html which are some of the ludicrous rules (and some merited for safety purposes) the NFL imposes. In a society where we worship the cult of the individual, it is sad that the one instance of collectivism we allow is through the dictatorship of professional sports leagues.

We are witness to a country having such a hard time mandating a social health-care system, that is really fashion a parity system similar to sports leagues, yet one is decried as unconstitutional and communist and the other is cheered for every Saturday night and Sunday afternoon for saving "little guy" franchises.

Fucking Americans. Hell, Fucking human beings for all that's worth.

peacelove freedom justice

-s

Uniformity pt. 1

Nick did a great post about the idea of collective identity in his last post in which the theory of collectivism vs the individual in Japanese culture is still as strong as always, reinforced by the "uniform" that people where in various aspects of their lives. http://gaijindesune.blogspot.com/

Nick, I have a question for you and then something for you to consider...you said the Japanese enjoy the uniform...I have no idea if this is true but I would put forth that I'm not sure if they enjoy the uniform but adhere strictly to its values. I base this only on a very small sampling of Japanese culture that heroically presents the individual against the collective. You see it in countless video games and serials that seem to focus on the idea of "the one" breaking free from the rigidity of their surroundings. Almost always they seem to be a part of the larger society, look relatively the same but something sets them apart. Small pieces of clothing or hairstyle. The japanese loner is omnipresent in many of these mediums, struggling to come to terms with his "individualness" (yes i made that word up) and how to use it in either a positive or negative manner. Social control mechanisms and adherence to the collective seem to be paramount values in this type of society.

Growing up there were always stories of the "japanese loner" that all of a sudden lashes out at the society around them committing some nefarious act against the collective ideal(society) or the individual struggling to break out (themselves). These circumstances happen in most corners of this earth, but seem so perfectly set up for Japanese society. Suicide rates in Japan remain very high due to extreme pressure to fit either a familial ideal (concentric society) or the national ideal (society at large).

This is also common in asian cultures in general, the focus on the collective or group and de-emphasis on the individual. Religion has played a large part in this. Hinduism, Buddhism, Shintoism all to varying degrees profess the collective ideals rather than the individuals ideals. Many times the focus upon individual is to destroy or subdue the ego and become conscious of the collective forces that bind humanity to the individual. Simply put it is through collective unity that individual harmony prospers.

Consider this against the Western ideal. The Western religions (Islam included) support are geared towards the individual. There is ONE god. The prophet of any one religion is just that, THE PROPHET. Western thought is the inverse of the asiatic thought, chiefly that through individual struggle the collective is strengthened. Use Jesus Christ or Mohammed as examples. Both went against the norm of their days, against the collective societies of their days to benefit mankind. The Jesus story even has the overarching sacrifice of the individual for the collective salvation. Compare that to the earlier idea of the individual attempt in Japanese society to be different or be something other than a cog in the machine and perhaps we see where we might be headed in the future. Perhaps asian society starts to embrace the individual more and more, breaking from the collective and in the West we become more and more collective to thwart the idea of an individual being the all-important mechanism in our society.

Or maybe it doesn't happen at all and respectively become fantasies about what is possible within our societies. Or maybe it is bubbling on the surface in our part of the world to become more collective. I suppose this happens when populations either reach a breaking point or become so densely packed that a collective identity is needed to bind individuals to greater causes or towards ideals that benefit the group. China, India and Japan are densely populated nations and while Canada isn't in that group, North American society in general is becoming more densely populated. Communism in Europe was born of the spectre that in Russia foremost and Europe overall people needed to feel a kinship towards each other rather than individual rights trumping society at large. It came at a time when "Europeaness" was being threatened by the new world individualism and being surpassed as the ideal or human interaction. A collective identity was needed to allow groups to overpower individual aims at controlling the group.

Where does that leave us? Frankly I don't know and am no longer sure, but in a later post I'll try to tackle this when I look towards team sports especially Professional team sports as being more about the collective and less about the individual.

As always thanks for reading, and Nick thanks for the thinking material. It helps in getting writing going.

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

this has been a conversation heard in the freecity."

Defending the Indefensible...then one for Nick

ast night Michael Vick signed with my favourtite team for 2 years. How can this be defended? I can either swing to one side and find a justification against all disgust because it is my team or i can be someone who is excited regardless of what he did.

I fall into the latter category and have since this thing started. I am a Michael Vick fan and and Eagles fan so until he throws a customary 60 yard interception that was 32 yards over his receivers' head, I'll cheer for him, wear my Vick jersey and abuse the hell out of the wildcat formation in Madden when Vick comes up in a roster update.

But let's get this out of the way first, you know the the shadow that hangs over anything MIchael Vick from now until his death from memory. He did something vile. I like dogs, have wanted one for some time and while I am now firmly entrenched into the cats are better side of the universe, I still love dogs. When I think about what Vick did, it does disgust me and knowing me, I am fairly hard to disgust and am quite profane myself. But this was a different kind of profanity that Vick committed. He bred dogs in order to fight them then kill them when they couldn't make any more money or were so bruised and torn from fighting they had to be put down. I'm not going to mince anything here, he did some really unholy stuff. He electrocuted dogs, hung them from trees, hit them with large objects, starved them until they were ferocious then unleashed them on other equally starved dogs looking for blood. He shot them in cold cold blood, snapped their necks, wiped up the blood and started over.

Goddamn it that is cruel. I type this and a part of me is even disgusted with myself for being able to defend him. I mean how do you defend not just senseless murder but murder of something we as a dominant and smarter species should be taking care of. How do you defend such callous disregard for sentient life in order to make money when you've signed a 10 year 100 million dollar deal and have endorsements on the side to boot? How do you defend using animals as bloodsport?

I'll admit that I probably can't change your mind on Vick, nor do I want to. I got into it a bit with the wife this morning on the bus (as much as you can argue with such a sweet person like emsy) when she said she hates him. It is something that however riles me up a smidgen...

hear me out (or rather read me out)...

I don't really think i have an absolute right to be righteous about this. Sure i can be morally outraged and personally sick, but outright hatred for dogfighting? I EAT MEAT!

not just meat but a lot of my meat is most likely factory farmed, mass produced meat...i've never been to a factory farm but i damn well know and am not shy about admitting that their practices in procuring meat and then selling it are as heinous or more so than Michael Vicks...I buy meat from Costco which in order to keep prices low and to sell in bulk no doubt is part of the factory farm system. I've eaten at fast food restaurants for a good chunk of my life and know full well that the meat the procure is factory farmed. I have no right be holier than thou on this just because I didn't raise dogs to be slaughtered. I may not have done that but i have given money and will continue to give money to eat meat that I know has come from animals that have been abused, pumped full of steroids and drugs, kept in cages and quarters where they wallow in their own shit and piss until they die or are slaughtered, have their necks snapped, birds are flung around to kill them, beaks chopped off with pincers, wings torn off, branded cows, shocking cows and pigs, giving them meat from their own family to bulk them up for my consumption, stepping on dying animals to snuff the last breath of life from them and then just killing of hosts of animals when they do not meet the "standards" of size and weight that supermarkets and consumers demand for their dinners and BBQS. I mean really the sins of the farming industry are long ranging and cringe-worthy themselves. Vomit inducing and yet I happily eat the food.

So what am i saying really? that perhaps I am indefensible as well? Well yeah, many of us are. Fishing in this country is not properly regulated and really what is fishing for food other than putting a sharp hook in the water with bait so a fish can puncture itself through the mouth on the hook, struggle mightily for its life then get pulled out of the water to die of asphyxiation or a simple coupla wacks with a hammer or on the side of the boat if pressed for time. THen we skin it, de bone it , cook it up nice and serve it with some veggies and wine, discarding everything we didn't use in a strong show of our unchallengeable dominion over this earth.

Now a genius once said to me it's ok to eat fish cause they don't have any feelings and true enough fish are stupid...does that make it ok or right? We can't bond or domesticate them on the level of dogs/cats/rabbits etc because their brains are so tiny they forget everything in seconds. Still is it right? I don't think it is but it tastes good.

So isn't that the dilemma then? Taste. Dog fighting is morally abhorrent because we domesticate and befriend dogs and they seem to like us if we play with them and give them food and shelter. We in this part of the world have never been trained to eat dogs and the mere thought is repulsive to us. But if we were let's say asian of the chinese or korean way, we might have eaten and enjoyed dog or cat. It can be a delicacy in some places of this fucked up planet. Or let me put it this way, there are many people in India that think we are savages and brutes for our continual slaughter and consumption of cows.

Relative right? We don't revere cows or fish or pigs or chickens so they can be eaten, killed in some of the worst ways possible and raised to be killed in even sicker ways. I'm not excusing what Vick did, partially from social conditioning to like or at least tolerate dogs and partially because what he did is actually sick. I however am cognizant that what I do on a day to day basis can be just as heinous by proxy or by immediate endorsement. I've helped this planet die so much in my 27 years on this planet. I haven't done enough for this land and still don't do enough (though I am making far better choices on some things than I ever have). I'm not delusional, I know where I eat and from where it comes from. My finances do not afford me the ability to make strong anti-cruelty statements yet and even if they did I would like to think I would remember that once I was not rich enough to afford the luxury of making a respectful choice.

There are almost 7 billion people on this planet and about half a billion in North America. We are hardwired to be omnivores. I mean really, how do you think we are all getting fed, especially on the richer side of the world? any one can buy certification that says their product is safe and killed "humanely" but really can you believe that? If so, then my friends you have more faith than I, and I applaud that. I can't however. We are a society raised on the ideals and merits of consumption. We don't eat to live, we live to eat. With so many mouths to feed the burning question is do we a) feed the people as quickly, inexpensively and consistently as we can or b) do the right thing, respect what is given to us to survive, while more expensive more morally and consciously acceptable. We as a world go with "a" almost every time and it extends itself past food into other things like homes, services, electronics and a many many more products developed around our incessant need to have and have more.

That's really all i have or want to say on this. Sorry it took so long and to end on a lighter note and to dispel all my excited emotions at this point, a quick shout out to our dear Japanimated Nicholas Jones. His blog is up and since it bother you like I do to read it, I'll plug it here because it is good and interesting and he takes good pictures and for the moment is updating quite frequently. Also Nick I need a favour...at some point during your stay in Japan, can you get to Okinawa? I need you to find someone for me there. His name is Hattori Hanzo and I desperately need a sword. Tell him I have some vermin to kill. Large vermin.

http://gaijindesune.blogspot.com/

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

p.s. sorry if i made you lose your lunches or any food you've ever eaten. I'll buy you some candy next time I see you.

An Obsession Followed by Some Laughs

See I have this obsession with sports in general and in particular with a) The Toronto Maple Leafs and B) The NFL/American Football. Now I dislike American very strongly and usually with armed with nothing more than misplaced vitriol, possible jealousy and heaps of conjecture. There are also legitamate reasons I can't stand the US, but there are things I truly appreciate about the US. Most of it comes as a result of being in Toronto and therefore a major market for consuming everything but Canadian culture and being bombarded daily by the US media export machine. One of the things I've really taken to especially since 1st year university is American football. Love this game. I think Canadians do things much better than the US on most things with a notable exception being the gridiron game. It's poetic in its athleticism, the running game matters and sets up everything else, far more like chess than other sports and the pomp and pageantry that surrounds and ballyhoos the game is in itself jarring (especially at the College level).

It is now august 13th. Tomorrow is a partial holiday for me. I'm taking off from work almost 2.5 hours early because the new Madden videogame comes out. Crazy? I've never said any different...it is Maddenoliday and if you are a believer, I wish you a great, fun and absolutely headache inducing Madden holiday (from all the screens and liquor and drugs you most certainly will participate in around this holiday).

Now combining my love of sports with my love of visceral armchair fantasy such as videogames is heavenly. I swear if only videogames could cook and clean than Emily you would be in serious jeopardy of losing your first wife for life title since virtual sex is coming (pun intended) right around the corner... (i'm kidding, please don't make me sleep on the couch, cats will eat me)

This obsession with sports and Madden in particular is wonderful this year because EA decided to release the game on a Friday ensuring a weekend full of childish, amateur, sloppy and undignified behaviour on the part of men who are believers in this holiest of days. I can't wait until tomorrow. I've been talking em to death about the game, the upcoming football season, how many sleeps left until the game. It got to the point where my enthusiasm has led Emily to actually be excited rather than worried and pre-tired for football season this year (which i am sure will change to chagrin and resentment by week 2) and a couple of night ago she woke up in the middle of the night thinking, only a few more sleeps until Saff gets Madden.

That is so cool. I consider that no small victory on my part.

Madden means football is only 4 weeks away. FLY EAGLES FLY, GO COLTS GO.

and to show to counterbalance my exuberance of things american and being a good Canadian kid and all, here are a few links showing that while America is great for many things, it is still one stupid dumb overvalued country that is going to hell for being so damn stupid and dumb. Watch in order and enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPkMUU9tUqk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0gb9v4LI4o&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOwwA5VUJzs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fsportsillustrated%2Ecnn%2Ecom%2F2009%2Fextramustard%2Fhotclicks%2F08%2F13%2Fmila%2Dkunis%2Dinterview%2Dtom%2Dbrady%2Dbill%2Dbelichick%2Drelationship%2Fin&feature=player_embedded

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s