How is Everyone

I have no idea of the e-mail address that Nick uses and since i'm so socially useless and terribly hermetic, I lose touch often and these machines are often the only way I communicate with those folks I wish to share my felicity (and hopefully in return) garner theirs.

In that regard, i feel an update is due, though how much to update is not much at all, but a general state of the federation (the inner canuck shines through again) is embarked upon...

les chats are doing well, we got them high with catnip yesterday and they flipped out went nuts and were tons of fun to watch...i want to do this much more often...it is so cool...they are growing at a tremendous pace though they are still mentally kittens. Le boy (henri) is a psycho and well pretty much a boy - troublesome, curious, severe disregard for authority and very emotionally demanding but only on his terms...he's funny as hell especially when he meows at the door, at grocery bags, the invisible air...on Friday I brought my bike upstairs to install something on it and he just circled that thing for minutes on end, inspecting it and meowing at it, really showing it who the cat is, telling the whole world just who the cat is...territorial, I'm just glad he hasn't pissed on anything yet...

Anabelle is still skittish, scared of life and generally everything in her path unless she can dictate its outcome. In short she is a girl, timid, shy, loving, emotionally demanding and then emotionally distant after she has gotten whatever she needed. She naps a whole lot and loves to bake in the sun. The catnip however might have altered her brain chemistry, today she tried to bolt out of the house as I was leaving and Em told me she was meowing at the door this morning à la henri this morning. She's curious, though in her own way...yesterday she inspected the mop I was throwing out for a while, stalking it (it wa placed against a wall), walking around it, sniffing it, going away and returning from another angle, doing the whole thing again, then reaching a tentative paw out to see if it would attack. Once she was satisfied she went somewhere to take a nap.

cats are fucking crazy.

in personal news, this month I am on a Cleanse!!! yeah I know hokey and silly but hey I feel friggin' great right now, but I do get hungry. There is one fast day per week, where you just drink a solution and water and have six pieces of this special chocolate for protein and to reduce hunger. In general I feel better, though I suspect this is partly a mental thing since I committed to fully to this idea of a cleanse and healthier lifestyle. The goal of this whole thing is to lose some weight (so i can look even more fantabulous), get my energy up, rid some toxins from my body and kick start quitting smoking cigarettes. Unfortunately this also means that this month (until June 12th) there has been no drinking alcohol and no blazing the cheeba, which kinda sucks, but to be honest it is nice to be clear for a little bit, refocus and redirect my energy.

still running, am able to do about 3.5 k in 23 mins which is damn slow but an improvement. Ems and I also started biking last week and that is going phenomenally well and I forgot how much fun not only biking is, but how fun motion through human power is. It is something indescribable to push and move and be a force through simple human exertion, human movement, human energy and its such a fun fun way to see the city, enjoy the summer air, wind and I find such a useful use of my own time to be doing something to nurture my own potential as a human being...I swear I'm falling in love with my legs, I haven't felt this good since I was a kid riding bikes with my dad and brother at Dentonia Park and Secord elementary school.

So that's that...for now...hope tom update soon again...waljee/nerf can't wait to see you guys soon at HOME and let's plan that trip to Montréal (cause I need to book days at work, they get antsy). Everyone, please drop me a line to let me know how you alls are doing and what the what...take it easy kids.

(p.s. if you want to see what I've been reading just to shoot the literary shit, here is a shameless plug for my own superior reading and intellectual skills, just check out the entries labelled Bibliophilia, anytime anyone wants to talk books, I am so so down).

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

"let you red heart soar" - Hey Rosetta!

and then...

heather, thanks for the website...i browsed through it and got some good tips. I'm seeing the sports dr tomorrow and once I get the clear to start running again, i need some time to get my wind back and build my physical stamina (takes about 9 days) and mental stamina (never-ending) i should be off and gone again. Maybe once i'm confident enough with running (both pace and pain wise) i'll give you a shout around end of may-ish and perhaps we can do some runs...

looked into that Nike technology. Thought it really cool when it first came out. Unfortunately for me I have a severe chagrin towards Nike (one of my many amusing hypocrisies) since my teens for their tacit complicity and arrogant laissez-faire role in child and child labour exploitation blah blah blah...so i can't really fork over any money to Nike or emblazon myself with that satanic checkmark...

also i don't have a nano so it does me no good anyways...lastly (but mostly firstly since it relates directly to the first point) i wear new balance shoes so i can't really put the transmitter in the NB shoes...and yes i am aware the New Balance probably has (to a lesser extent but an extent nonetheless) use and exploited child/third world labour for bottom line margins but at this point my anger is better directed towards Nike and Reebok since the monopoly is theirs and they end up being my personal scapegoats à la Jim Cramer. Opulent isn't it?

On another note, I start a new job today and so far it just confirms my suspicions that every branch of the government is woefully mismanaged but filled with good people with the best of intentions. What I'm left with then is a merry band of civil servants leading me by hand to hell without a map or idea on how to get there. They just know the end result. Life, however, could be worse...

on that note, I offer to our dear Nam a moment of Karma or cosmic interference...I lost my cellphone. Don't know how, I know generally when, have some clues to where but all in all it is lost. See, the universe tends to right itself and God just gave me a swift kick in the nuts for my gleeful non-sympathy of your similar plight of two weeks prior.

Just for the record...God I wasn't unsympathetic or non empathetic towards Nam and his cellphone disappearance (which turned into a wholesale human disappearance thereafter)...God you know me well enough by now to know that I am a perennially absent-minded, scatterbrained headcase... I lose everything. Hell, you know My Lord that I am the same individual that lost magic mittens that were attached to my winter coat with clips and fastened string! In fact I have probably become much worse at preserving anything in my possession since I have attained adult status and if it wasn't for my wife actually coming home to me every night I might end up forgetting I was a married man. So thanks for the reminder God that you are always watching, listening and reading my every word and thought. Thanks for letting me know that that my faith in you is rewarded by cosmic jesterdom and pranks. At least I find it funny. Lastly God, I wasn't being mean towards Nam, just an ass, something I'm quite good at, something more irrerverant than cruel which is why I am a civil servant.

Nam, whatever you believe, God is on your side at the moment. Must be those Christian choir songs you were singing on the aforementioned disappearance day.

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

Restless Souls

Here we are again.

Beautiful day in Toronto City, sun is shining, weather is sweet...all the good stuff we've been waiting for since last summer ended.

See for me, I can't imagine a better place to be than Toronto in the spring/summer. It isn't that I have a lack of imagination, there are many places I ache to go and see, but for me, this place, this town, is more than home, it cuts deeper with each passing day, I feed off this city and love it through everything. Even in the doldrums of cold winters (by metropolitan standards) I see the beauty that is Toronto and in most instances I don't want to be anywhere else.

I am however restless. As we get older, the roaring twenties of our current youth scream at us to leave, to see the world beyond our narrow borders of birth and comfort. It seems everyone at this moment wants to leave this place and maybe find their way back or appreciate it from afar. Sometimes I feel as if I cannot properly contextualize my adoration nor properly express the love I have for my city until and unless I leave it and see it from another place or another ocean, far from the lap of comfort.

Everyone wants to leave.

Waldo and nerf got the bug and then buggered the hell off to the middle east. Nick is now in the process of preparing for his Japanimation, Jason wants to leave and go anywhere the hell away from here. Bubbles has been threatening to leave for many a year, and my brother is bitten by the bug and may one day leave as well for some time.

I remain stuck.

not out of pure laziness mind you, though some of that does persist. Mostly contentment keeps me firmly planted here and a wee bit of arrogance that I will not and cannot find a better place than here. I have the bug, I've just been able to inoculate myself against for the present moment.

Complacency however can be sinful can it not?

but for all you other restless souls, the best of luck on your journeys. I say this with some jealousy as well since I am not able presently to leave without some wholesale deconstruction of what and who I am and where I want to go. Waljee you got to see London Town before I did and hell you've been to Jordan!!! (the waljee blog has been updated, no shameless plug here, just a straight plug http://waljeesinkuwait.blogspot.com/).

Nick you get to see Tokyo before I do and perhaps even Seoul and Kyoto and Hong Kong since the proximity makes it far more feasible than before come August.

Before I do however isn't a bitter statement, more a lamentation that I haven't yet seen Tokyo and London, two metropolises I pine to see and feel. It is however such good news for you guys and I'm very happy you get to do things you've been dreaming of for some time.

To the others, either stuck here or firmly planted here, roots digging ever deeper with each passing day. Home is a sweet place, a wonderful place and there is no place like this place.

Heather, I'm glad you're running that is as awesome news as any that has come my way in the last little while. I'm glad I inspire some people! Although I myself have had to stop running for the moment, got the shin splints and was advised to cut running for at least a month. My knees have been giving some trouble although they have improved considerably in the last couple of weeks.

I am grateful for small miracles. Miracles in themselves defy the description of size. All miracles are never really small.

You're running however has got me itching to get started again, the pretty weather all the more alluring to the prospect and I hope I can run a 5k sometime in the next year, that would be very cool! Heather would you be able to drop me a line and let me know what your training has been like for the 5k you're running and what the training involves? Much appreciated.

Also thanks for the opera tickets to you and Jason both. The wife and I had a brilliant time, that venue is beyond compare and the show was superb. We are now definitely looking at seeing some more opera in the future and they are doing Madama Butterfly this September so we look forward towards that.

All in all, things are great. Nam, we heard your excuse for not meeting us and all that, so you suckdiddlyuck Flanders, but the concert was also quite superb, and since you "ditched" us we got to enjoy burritos and kittens back at our house without you, so there square.

Hope to see any or all of you at some point soon. Nick are you coming to the Hey Rosetta! show next week at Lee's Palace? Can't wait for that one, and thanks again for the introduction to their music. Should be a jolly ol' time.

That's it for now, sorry for the lack of updates, waljee unmotivated and has now subsequently re motivated me!

a bientot kids!

peace,love,freedom,justice

-s

Felinity

o dear friends, I present to you news from the Hashmani Clan, remix version E&S.

Over the weekend, Sunday to be exact, we adopted two little kittens! They are 6 months old, one male & one female, and are litter mates. Most importantly however is how utterly awesome they are. In two short days they have usurped my very own coveted position upon the throne of awesome and I am but a mere humble subject in the quest for awesomeness when presented with these two. They are tabby cats, grey and white and can quite possibly lay claim to being the greatest things ever.

They are tiny as hell, well according to me who have only really known grown cats in my time and have such sweet little cat faces and inquisitive eyes. They love playing either with each other or with my hair elastics or the bungie bird we have hanging on they bedroom door. I can watch them time on end and without tiring and I swear all I want to do now is go home and play with them or at least be with the. It's crazy fun to watch them play hunter/stalker games and seek each other out, chase each other and wrestle. There has been no clear winner yet although since the boy is bigger he may have the slight advantage is this game. Since they are basically sorting out the alpha hierarchy it adds an extra element of fascination to watch them determine who will be the top cat and the tactics they use to "hunt" each other. From my observations so far, the girl is a patient hunter and likes to use objects to hide behind and peek from. The boy is much more of a stalker rather than hunter, always sniffing the ground and tippawing around, freezing himself in a position then he just darts and goes. They are both quite nimble though they haven't quite mastered running and sometimes look like bunny rabbits leaping about as they chase each other.

The girl is definitely shy and it takes her some time to warm up though she ate much more today than she had the previous two days and was up playing about this morning whereas yesterday morning she hid behind the laundry room door in a dark spot until I left. The boy is our little explorer...any noise and he's right there to inspect. He loves running about the small space we have inspecting any little thing he finds, checking every nook and cranny. He might become troublesome because as we know curiosity kills beings of his kind. But our adventurer and explorer he is, bounding about the condo always looking for new places to discover.

One of the most amazing parts of this experience is how much love you immediately feel for something in your care. Ego exercises aside, as soon as the mental connection clicked that we are responsible for the lives of two beings, a sense of care and love swirled through me. IT wasn't a love by proxy or love by force kind of thing, it was a genuine concern and wish for well-being of two critters entrusted to our care. Sure we made the personal choice of adopting but until that moment I had no idea really what to expect. I've had goldfish when I was little that ended committing suicide and a budgie that flew to freedom after dad left the cage and balcony open when we were kids. So getting these kittens was a big thing for me and more for Em since she's been waiting for this moment since grade 9. As soon as I held the kitties I knew I loved them, not only because they were "mine" but because I couldn't help it. I really can't explain it I can only extrapolate on what it felt like. They are such precious little things and I'm real happy we made the choice not only to rescue/adopt a cat but that we got two so they can play together and keep each other company. It's a lot of fun having them just walk around and inspect you or come by you and nuzzle or just sit and watch them play. It's nice to have other life in the house.

So that's it for now. You guys can come by and see them if you so wish and play with them again if you wish. They are friendly cats and while they are still getting used to the new home they warm up nicely and games with yarn never get old for cats and humans alike. They also get to see their first Hashmani house Leaf game tonight (at least some of it) so that should be fun for all involved we hope.

As for their names, the boy is named Henri Renard. Basically we thought a french name was pretentiously fun, Henri for Thierry Henri and Renard from the Renard in Petit Prince ( I know that Renards belong to a different species, but his lessons apply to all, so there). We also figure that while discovering and exploring English Canada and going on secret missions, Henri then has a perfectly translatable name into English as Henry Fox, nice good and proper English name. Trust me on how much this rules.

He girl we decided to call Anabelle, mostly because Ana names we were going through were sounded nice for her and Anabelle is just a pretty name.

So there you have it, come by and visit anytime.

peacelovefreedomejustice

-s

There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten. - Jules Champfleury

If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Belatedness

first and foremost, happy birthday (belated) to our dear dear elf nafeesa...lil' sprite, I hope you had a great fun day and many many more for many many years to come. Now I know your birthday was friday, I tried calling but that damn robot woman keeps making me feel as if i've lost my mind (more so than the normal loss i've accumulated and come to terms with). Tell her I hate her. I'm glad I actually got to sing Happy Birthday on the phone to you yesterday, that rocked almost as hard as I rock on a daily basis. Which is an extraordinary amount, so consider yourself privileged to the utmost (multiplied by power of amazing) in terms of awesomeness from yours truly. Waljee you missed out on greatness. See what happens when you sleep? cousin of death kid!

Jay, thanks for the e-mail, and I'm glad y'all are still reading this thing when I send out notifications...makes this silly chap here feel like he matters an iota in this vast conflagration of iotas. I've kept up the running but sometimes my shins feel awful and my left knee hurts a bit though i've chalked it up once again to pains from under-use and now actual use my legs. I'm running through it but know that if it hurts bad enough i will stop. I also know that without sweat and pain nothing grand ever really gets achieved (even if it is the sweat and pain of others, as long as it is expended) so you push until you break then try again when all the king's men and king's horses gallop the fuck by and you realize you have to pick your damn self up.

cheery aren't I? yeah a real box of fucking sunshine is this Sarfesian mess.

actually i'm pretty happy but i reserve all rights to my cynicism, malaise and anti-establishmentering (and all my ensuing hypocrisy). If i didn't how would I exist as this version of myself on this specific plane of existence? Hell it's defined me for 26 years and by all indications will define me for the next 26. And I'm fine with that, have come to terms with the fact that I am as happy as my anger so long as i direct it appropriately. These things are intertwined dear friends, a pleasant saff is nothing more than swirling of dust wrapped in a figment of imagination.

I turn 27 soon. Big age. At least for me. 27 club and all that music that chemically altered the latent nuances in my body, which eventually shaped my perceptions of my singular and partnered existences. When I was stupidly young (rather than youngly stupid as now) I thought I would commit suicide on my 27th. Real dumb. Way to stay classy saff. But I really thought so, mostly because I was so absorbed in my own pity, self loathing and in a perverse way self infatuation. I wanted like hell to be Kurt, but mostly I just wanted to yell and be a centre of attention. In fairness when you are that young everything that seems insignificant in hindsight is so fucking momentous at such a transitory and precipitous age like 13 - 19. Every little hurt gets wildly overblown, every slight seems fall from eden transgression. Every nice thing though, every smile and every joy is magnified as well, and every happiness explodes from you in a charged unbridled mess of teenage conviction. So when I felt bad at one point I thought my death would make me somewhat triumphant over everything that bothered me, would vindicate me and would be heroic in some way.

See i told you it was real dumb. Understandable, but real dumb. I wouldn't change it but I understand it better now and knowing how much better life gets and how much harder you kinda wish you channeled that energy into something a little more worthy than self-pity. Things are much harder now but if it wasn't hard it would take the fun right out of living, something you completely miss out on when you are too young to see life past the weekend.

Tangent: Jay I have a question...since you run and play the foot, how do you deal with the shins and the knees and the soreness??? i know the icing but any other tips a seasoned pro can give would be appreciated muchly and greatly...and anyone else who has advice, i'm always listening....

to that tune as always i hope to write more but by the time i get home i just want to run and chill, read, eat and hang with the wiz...my eyes are fried from computering all day at work and blogging when i get home just is fatiguing to even think about...

i try at work but we've been busy of late with data entry that the processing centres have downloaded onto the "slower" offices. So yeah my eyes hurt and us being busy with data entry sucks not just for the fact that I have something mindless I have to do but because it means that the outside world sucks even more, people are losing their jobs like its the new pastime and seeing so much worry and so much hardship in such a prosperous place as this country is heavy on the heart at times. Which then forces my active little mind into thinking if it is this bad here what about other places and then I get more heartsick and the anger returns and i have to learn how to direct it properly like a cyclops optic blast otherwise i might do something or say something along the lines of an unforgivable curse. Christ this world is hard one sometimes but as always lucky is how i feel for the love I have and the love I get to give away. It is worth it all and no time like now to tell you all I love you all much and much and am blessed to be with you and by you whenever and forever. Thanks for the continued support, friendships and dialogues.

to those who asked, nerf and waldo are fine, they still rule but waljee has started to suck since he doesn't write anymore (nerf informs us that he is "tired" from school and busy as hell...boooooooo...no excuses, just drop a line every now and then and we cool. new deal waldo, blog once more and i'll link to you. aw fuck it i'll link anyway, but please out something up for the new year.

http://waljeesinkuwait.blogspot.com/

read to be up on the waljees and their version of the middle east. thanks nerf and waldo for keffiyeh's. We are wearing them with pride to show our support for our palestinian brothers and sisters.

on the last note here (but not the last piece this band will play), superbowl party at our place on the first of feb, a sunday. Please come over, drink eat, smoke, be merry and watch the cards (boooo) take on the steelers (louder boooo). Take care

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

"this has been a belated message from the free city."

Bibliophilia 2008

This will serve as a record of what books/literature i engaged myself to read in 2008. Emily suggested cataloguing a list and i think its a good idea to see what I have and haven't read, see how productive my reading was on a given year, show trends and interests, see what I re-read in a given year and for the sake of pride and motivation to continue to read and propagate that as leisure for myself. I think it would serve as a nice personal examination of my mindsets and ideas and eventually might serve as some sort of self-serving statement of a life lived reading and in pursuit of words.

So without further ado (and hopefully forgiveness for any and all pretension) here was 2008 (in no chronological order).

(SS = short story works, P = poetry collection, GN = Graphic Novel, CS = Comic Strip Collection* = Repeat Read )

1. The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald *
2. Preacher Vol 1 - Garth Ennis (GN) *
3. Preacher Vol 2 - Garth Ennis (GN) *
4. Preacher Vol 3 - Garth Ennis (GN) *
5. Preacher Vol 4 - Garth Ennis (GN) *
6. The Gunny Sack - M.G. Visanji
7. For Whom The Bell Tolls - Ernest Hemingway
8. The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
9. Northern Lights/Golden Compass - Phillip Pullman
10. The Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman
11. The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman
12. V - Thomas Pynchon
13. Leaf Storm - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (SS)
14. Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz - Mordecai Richler
15. The Street - Mordecai Richler (SS)
16. Great Short Works of Leo Tolstoy - Leo Tolstoy (SS)
17. Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman (P)
18. A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
19. Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse
20. Demian - Hermann Hesse
21. Desperation - Stephen King *
22. The Regulators - Stephen King *
23. Animal Farm - George Orwell *
24. 1984 - George Orwell *
25. Collected Short Works of Nikolai Gogol - Nikolai Gogol (SS)
26. The Communist Manifesto - Lenin/Marx *
27. Oil! - Upton Sinclair
28. Hard Times - Charles Dickens
29. The Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie *
30. Shame - Salman Rushdie
31. The Boondocks Vol.2 - Aaron McGruder (CS)
32. Where Hope Takes Root, Speeches of Aga Khan IV - The Aga Khan
33. Le Petit Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
34. Musicophillia - Oliver Sachs
35. The Bhagavad Gita - Sacred Scripture, so authorship might be some variation of God
36. Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut
37. Welcome to the Monkey House - Kurt Vonnegut (SS)
38. Trumpets Sound No More - John Redfern
39. Walden and Other Writings - Henry David Thoreau
40. The Prophet - Khalil Gibran
41. The Complete Works of Friedrich Nietzsche - Friedrich Nietzsche
42. Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce
43. Bonjour Tristesse (english translation) - Françoise Sagan
44. The Idiot - Fyodor Dostoevsky

peacelovefreedomjustice

-s

"This has been a statement bearing witness to a year spent in the FreeCity"

So now the gregorian new year is upon us and aside from the health issues, personally 2008 was a good year. Passed the first year of marriage (yeah that was quick), went to montreal twice, started hobbying around as a soul stealer and got back to my reading ways and finished about 25 books since february which other than grade school and required university reading was a personal best.

So the new year, well I was sick on the eve of until the NFL playoffs started on saturday (i swear it was a coincidence). Leafs beat the Sens on Saturday night and Canada made our little apartment go loco on saturday night. The colts lost so I wasn't too happy about that but the Iggles won on saturday so i cheered up pretty quickly. I was sad to miss the new years party at Heather's, i was really looking forward to seeing some people I haven't seen in some time, but I'm glad my wife represented LP304 (what what) at the gathering. Heather, Jason and Nam, I hope to see you guys soon, if at the latest during this year's Superbowl festivities at CasaHash Feb 1 2009.

Lots of things to look forward to during this new year. Mostly looking at ways of self-improvement through exercise and running (up to 20 mins non-stop on the treadmill at 5.0 speed, so i'm thrilled about that). Also improving my meals, and control of willpower and my tendency to self-destruct by smoking, laziness, significant anger at insignificant events, chocolate binging, television over consumption and late nights without a purpose (mostly from television over consumption).

I've got the opening two sentences down (in my head) for that elusive novel I keep promising myself and the universe I'm going to write one day, so that is a start and better than no start at all. I'm not sharing it yet because I believe I will jinx myself and cause thereby causing a violent reversal of new years promises by actively enabling my aforementioned tendency to self-destruct.

Other than that plans for the new year include going to ottawa and to montreal (again) taking some time off in February, trying to watch some more movies and to Emily's great happiness getting a cat in this new year (ONLY ONE DAMNIT OR I RENEG ON THIS AGREEMENT).

So with that short message relayed, thanks all for your support, friendship, love and most tolerance in the past year and I hope we sustain our ties in this new year. Happy new year everyone and hope to see or speak to y'all soon.

p.s. waljee and nerf we have tried calling your damn number and some robot woman tells us it is out of service after about 3 rings. What's up? How are you guys? You is the volatile Mid-East? Things ok? Drop a line, let us know and Waljee goddamnit update the blog, it's been awhile. No excuses, only effort kid. Please let us know how you are and if you went to Paris for deedar, how that was (well mostly how paris was at this time of year).

peacelovefreedomjustice (one love to palestine, it breaks my heart)

-s

"this has been a transmission from the freecity."