A few nights ago I had this dream. I was on a field trip, at my present age with Mr. Duwyn who was my 6th and 8th grade teacher. There were many other people on teh field trip and we went somewhere downtown by TTC. Mr Duwyn looked the age he was when he was teaching me at middle school (it has been almost 15 years since I saw him last).
That is all I remember of the dream. When I initially woke from the dream it was quite vivid and lucid, and I then went to the bathroom and drank some water, came back to bed and slept some more. When I woke up again, the dream was still qutie vivid though it was losing some its tone and shape in my mind. I kept promising myself I would write it down soon to capture it. I again went to the bathroom, brushed and did morning stuff, had tea and an apple and in that span of time the dream began to escape, getting thinner and thinnger until I could only remember what I wrote above.
I also felt a deep sense of longing, wistfulness and nostalgia tied to the dream. As I forgot the dream the feelings seemed to intensity in inverse proportion to the details I was letting slip away.
I came to the following thought:
I was in a state of longing, wistfulness and nostalgia for a dream that I was losing rather than the how the content of the dream provoked me to react. That deep sense of longing and trying in wretched earnestness to reclaim my memory was now superimposed upon the loss of the actual dream itself rather than the dream.
I had in effect, retro-inferred my emotions of losing the dream onto the small content of the dream I had salvaged in my memory.
Perhaps then the dream above is not at all (other than Mr.Duwyn and a field trip) any sort of truth at all. Perhaps it is just as false as my emotions and equally dependent on my own whimsy and regard for survival.
-s
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